Talk:Michael Biehn
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Pee Review[edit]
Introduction to your reviewer
Why is this dude reviewing my article? Because it hadn't been done yet, that's why. I'm not an expert on Michael Biehn, but have seen several of his movies (I'm a James Cameron fan). But I don't know all his work, so may be missing some of the jokes. I do think this article has some good parts, but could use a lot of work, which I'll talk about below. | ||
Concept: | 3 | Personally, I think this is the source for most of the problems I found in this article, and can be fixed. I don't see a clear concept here--is this article about Quantum Leap, or a military hero, or a movie star, or a screenwriter, or what? Also much of this doesn't closely tie in with Michael Biehn. As a general rule, if you could write the same thing about anyone else, then don't use it. I think if you develop a clear concept of what you want it to be--and tie it closely to the article's subject Biehn, it could be much better. |
Prose and Formatting: | 7 | I put Humour comments in with P & F so I don't repeat myself unnecessarily, but do score them separately.
The prose for this article is getting the highest score--I think in some places the writing is good, and in many places I think the writing style is good. Much of this can be fixed with a clearer concept. Your intro
Early life
Colonial Marines
Project AVATAR
The Kyle Reese Incident
Reincarnation
Personal Life (Post-Reincarnation)
Legal Issues
|
Humo(u)r: | 4 | Again, to me the problem with humour is the concept. I think if the article had a clear concept to keep it in focus, then the humour could build on itself and you could have a much funnier article. |
Images: | 7 | I think the photos are OK. I like the caption for the "no resemblance," although I think "Riggghhhhhtttttttt..." is more stretched out than it needs to be; a simple "No resemblance here. Right." would work better. I didn't get "So badass that he aims at people with his shotgun pointed the wrong way"--it doesn't look like he's shooting at anybody. I kind of like the captions for the Backstreet Boy and the take the bullet one. The Soviet Russia reversal is another overdone joke here, and I'd cut it. Children: Possibly anyone, including You!"--this doesn't go with the part that says he has six children. |
Miscellaneous: | 5.25 | Average of above |
Final Score: | 26.25 | Again, I see definite potential in this article. It needs a clear concept; after that, I think much of the rest can fall into place. |
Reviewer: | WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:27, December 19, 2009 (UTC) |