Talk:League of Nations
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From Pee Review[edit]
I've rewritten it with a "Sports game" theme. —Braydie at 21:27, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Humour: | 6 | Needs more jokes for my liking. |
Concept: | 8 | I like the idea. However, I don't think it's pushed far enough. Talk about the battle in more of a sporting context, perhaps referencing scores, fouls (maybe Japan could have points taken away for war crimes) and using sporting cliches. Also mention Russia's home advantage against Germany. |
Prose and formatting: | 8 | Largely well-written, although there are a few bits that I'll tidy up. |
Images: | 7 | I like the Battle of Britain image. The others are appropriately chosen, but I'm sure someone (not me) could create something great with photoshop. I'd like to see a team picture, or Wilson holding the league trophy. |
Miscellaneous: | 6 | I don't like the idea of WW2 being the only game, since you refer to battles within it as games. Instead I think WW2 should be the only season. Then you could write about pre-season and how Italy had a warm-up fixture against Abyssinia and Germany went to their Rhineland training camp. |
Final Score: | 35 | Like I said, a very good idea, but not yet executed to its fullest potential. |
Reviewer: | -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 13:50, 28 January 2007 (UTC) |
Great work[edit]
This article is really great! One of the best I've read! I've made some changes and added som stuff on the pre-season, If it's ok with the writer, would love to add more, about Japan-China, the Finnish Winter game and of the course, the Italian pasta Championship! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 81.232.66.12 (talk • contribs)
- Go for it, I don't mind. —Braydie 15:31, 15 February 2007 (UTC)