Talk:Laura Secord

Please review this article Pee Review: Laura Secord --Kenvalyi 21:25, 10 April 2007 (UTC)

Review

Humour:	7	Parts of the article are quite funny - such as questioning why people would want to be 'protected' from a democratic state in favour of a "civilized autocratic society," the cliche, Al Secord, "oh I can't wash dishes" (while eating all her chocolate), "I think it was sunny outside," WAL-mart cheapening the recipes, etc. The best thing you could do is to be more selective, take out a few of the less funny jokes or replace them - I didn't like the walking back for smokes, "life, limb, and confectionaries," marrying her brother, etc. so much. It's tempting to put as many jokes in as possible, but wait a couple of weeks then re-read it, and decide if some detract from the quality of the article.
Concept:	8	It's a good idea, though not many people will get it. I think you could make the connection between chocolate and the historical events even stronger.
Prose and formatting:	6	Formatted properly, could use an extra heading, could be expanded. The last section doesn't add anything new - delete or expand. Gramatical nit-picky point: use more punctuation. e.g.: Her loyalist family refused to live in a free, democratic country, with some elected asshole offering rubbish rights such as equal representation and freedom of speech for all citizens; so they chose to move to British North America to live in a civilized, autocratic society where a chosen-by-God-himself monarch would rule over the fate of his subjects.
Images:	7	Good images; if you expand the article you might add more. A beaver in there somewhere would be great.
Miscellaneous:	6	It would be helpful if it were more understandable by people who don't know the history. Having the link to Wikipedia helps. And there a few of us hockey fanatics who actually remember Al Secord ;-}
Final Score:	34
Reviewer:	Rogpyvbc 06:22, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

ideas

A great Canadian and Chocolateer Head stone And Audio is a must --Kenvalyi 21:57, 14 April 2007 (UTC)