Talk:Jesus Christ

Is it really?

"THIS IS A HOUSE OF BASKETBALL" is not original material. It has been shamefully plagiarized from an Onion article entitled "Christ Returns to NBA." bian ur gay Removed the basketball bit

Modusoperandi 09:23, 9 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Time for a Re-write

Just a teensy one. Zena Dhark…·°º•ø®@» 08:13, 14 September 2006 (UTC)

Big white space

at the bottom of the page. What the hell? Chocolate Rain 15:47, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Is this the main article of Jesus?

There are so many articles of Jesus here that I am not sure which one ist the article of True Jesus(tm). The best one of all Jesii articles should be chosen as canonical. 193.65.112.51 09:36, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Beginning and the end

At the beginning of the article is a weird message that is lacking some letters or words. At the end of the article is a big white space. Please correct them. 193.65.112.51 09:36, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Jesus joke

Reminds me of one. A hobo makes his way to the reception desk of a fancy hotel and demands the best damned suit for free on acount of him being the reincarnation of christ, or the second comming, what do you fundis call it.

Asked to prove it, he says "I will demonstrate by walking on the water, as I did in biblical times. Take me to your swimming pool!"

A mob is attracted on the way, and hundreds of people watch him put his left foot on the water surface. It holds! Then hey puts his right foot down on the water. Lo and behold, he really walks on water.

A moment later however, things go badly wrong, he submerges entirely and the would-be jesus nearly drowns, what for the care of a life-guard that retrieves him from the deep.

So naturally, everyone wants to know what went wrong, as things started out so well.

"Ach", he replies, "Since them Romans cut these holes in my feet it just doesn't seem to work anymore".

-- di Mario 21:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Introspective dialogue

• Cheese-Arse: If I were your mouth-kiss, where should I've kissed you?
• Jesus: Kiss my anus.
• Cheese-Arse: It has a cheesy smell though.
• Jesus: How do you know?
• Cheese-Arse: I'm you.

dialogue: baby Jesus to God

baby Jesus: How do we fuck?
God: Move backwards and forwards.
baby Jesus: Does it work?
God: If one has the means and has found a proper hole.
baby Jesus: Why did you create fuckness?
God: It's called screwing, fucking, sexual intercourse or copulation.
baby Jesus: You know better; But why?
God: It was a bad day.
baby Jesus: But people seem to enjoy it!
God: So does Satan!
baby Jesus: Oh, man! Fuck that asshole!
God: You see?
baby Jesus: It was a metaphor.
God: Exactly! Nobody fucks Satan. He's a penile incinerator!
baby Jesus: Wow! The ultimate penalty!