Talk:Jenova's Witness
Suggestions[edit]
Okay, Weasel, let me try to help you. I'm not editing your article myself because I'm a style nazi and we would come out wit an article of mine instead of yours. A little to-do list:
- Remove redlinks - you may either simple de-link some words or point them to other articles, making humoristic hiperlinking. For example (not a very good one, just the first thing that came into my mind) you may point godless to hippie, this way: [[hippie|godless]];
- Remove Jesus-Approved template. Out of context, which is Jesus-related good articles, it sucks;
- Fix the image positions. Distribute them over the article;
- If I'm getting this right, the Jenova's Witnesses are FF7 fanboys. Then making a list of their "doctrines" and describing how is a JW "cult" could harvest good humoristic results;
- You may approach directly the "cult" instead of talking so much about the conservative reaction. Reduce the republican stuff to a single section;
- Hack some real facts about cults. You may deceptively describe Jim Jones and Charles Manson incidents as JW "controversies".
Hope this helps;
-- herr doktor needsAcell [scream!] 15:41, 30 March 2007 (UTC)
Gee...I gotta get on this Happy Weasel 19:59, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
From Pee Review[edit]
This is a FFVII-oriented article and it is fairly partisan to the left, so be warned
- Since I hate FFVII (well I don't hate it, I just think it's overrated as hell and that about half the FF games are better), I should probably avoid it. The subject has a great potential. I would say the first order of business is to get rid of those big ugly templates. The first few sections are very well done, but the second half of the article is listcruft. Get rid of the lists and get rid of the porn images. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 03:58, 15 March 2007 (UTC)
Humour: | 4 | Too much random, too much drifting, too much hacked humor. |
Concept: | 7 | You could really do something good about FF7 "cultists" |
Prose and formatting: | 5 | The narrative is very unencyclopedic (and not necessarilty uncyclopedic). Please work more, the text repeats itself too much often. |
Images: | 3 | If you want to link FF7 to the Republican party, find something more suitable. |
Miscellaneous: | 2 | Remove that damn templates! |
Final Score: | 21 | Sorry, boy, I just didn't like this. But you can make it better. Try to stick to the "nerd cult" and you will make it less random and more life-like, a social critic, which is the spirit of real humor. At least the kind of humor that pleases me more. |
Reviewer: | herr doktor needsAcell [scream!] 04:15, 15 March 2007 (UTC) |
From Pee Review[edit]
Oh for the love of God. A chuckle funny idea, however, a not funny article. After reading the first quote and looking at the pictures I had to stop.
- However, being a merciful pee reviewer, I shall outline what needs to be done in order to prevent burnination of this article.
- Blank the page and start with a tabula rasae.
- For the love of God learn to press "show preview."
- Come up with an original and funny pile of bullshit on the founding of the Jenova's Witnesses eg. they were founded when an effimanately haired amnesiac discovered that he was one among many genetically enhanced soldiers somehow linked to the republican party. Just not some ridiculous 10 year old rambling on "LOLREPUBLICANS OMGPALPATINE FLYINGSPAGGHETTIMONSTER REDLINKSALLOVERTHISSECTIONBELGIANROFL" crap.
- Lastly, I have found use for my new awesome picture:
Leatherboundbooks 23:41, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Humour: | 10 | n/a |
Concept: | 6 | bleh. terrible execution. |
Prose and formatting: | 10 | n/a |
Images: | 10 | n/a |
Miscellaneous: | 10 | n/a |
Final Score: | 46 | Rework this! I believe in you I'm just outraged someone who could come up with a fairly good idea like that could fail entirely on the execution. imo, keep HTBFANJS open in another tab or window to help you out. (remember, this is a 6/10 not a 46/50) You have a week =/. |
Reviewer: | Leatherboundbooks 23:41, 27 April 2007 (UTC) |
Well, kudos if this was an original idea. However, I mentioned Jenova's Witnesses in my Tifa Lockheart article (which admittedly kind of sucks) several months before this article was created. So, to respond to the above comment, this might have not been an original idea. If it was, good for you. I actually really don't give a shit either way.--Wombattle
It needs love, but...[edit]
It's been so long! I forgot all about FF7... Christ... what was I, like 10 years old? Mang. Well, I fixed the grammar a bit, added a ting-er-two. This can definitely be a good article, I feel it.