Talk:Elevator
Brilliant idea, it is a horrible torture being in an elevator with a crowd. And you have to press the button more times than an alarm clock. --Nikau 14:58, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
Pee Reviews from after the rewrite[edit]
| Humour: | 6 | Very imaginative and detailed. Basically its good and had me smiling most of the time but never really laughing. I guess it lacks those small and prompt jokes that makes one laugh unexpectedly. On the other hand those are the hardest to think of though. Your quote is a great example of what you should have more of in my opinion; it really had me laugh. |
| Concept: | 8 | Great concept in my opinion. Been thinking about different concepts to describe elevators in a funny way and think I would have gone the same way as you. You have consistency throughout the article with your idea and writing style. You keep to the subject and yet have a very descriptive way of telling stuff which makes the article almost a bit to believable. Luckily the facts are so obvious it stays quite clear this is all a big farce - which its supposed to be! |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | I didn't get stuck on any sentence thinking it was weirdly formulated. I also havent found any spelling error yet. As formentioned I especially appreciate the depth you give each parafrag with so many details. It makes for an easyread text. Why you didn't get better than 7 though is that the formatting feels a bit "boring". The paragrafs feel a bit too much like big blocks of text which kind of scare the reader away. Maybe try using more sub sections or formatting to give the article more space and "air". Some work with your images wouldnt hurt which brings me to the next point. |
| Images: | 5 | Because you do have images and they arent too bad you could stick with those you have. But except for the first and third pictures, the others feel a bit boring. Also the exploding head gif is really outdated and used. It works in context but if you can find another one it would be even better. Try adding one ore two more pictures to lighten up the article a bit more as well. Don't be afraid to let them take more space. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | Good thing people like you roam the site turning crappy articles into |
| Final Score: | 32 | I thinks this makes for quite a good score which reflects my general opinion. But remember I still pointed out stuff that could be improved so don't ride away on your high horse. Otherwise.. yeh, i might just go and nominate for VFH cause I liked it =) |
| Reviewer: | --kit 10:17, 23 January 2009 (UTC) | |
| Humour: | 8.5 | I thought the humor was very well-rounded, for the most part. The concept is really the focal point of the whole article, and it is difficult to separate the two for judgement, but I'll see what I can do.
The Spanish Inqusion's role was an inspired idea, and really, that has to be one of the best parts of the article, however, the section on George O. Squier was kind of confusing in places, like the word "Muzak" leading to the invention of elevator music. Be careful with the streches, they confuse the general public. Other than that, though, the first section is solid, save for the photo. Maybe I'm missing something, but that... was not funny. On to the torture method section, once again, the everyday expeiriance of the dreaded elevator really makes the humor shine like a light bulb, and really contributes to the beleivability. The only real problem I see is the "head squish" method. While funny, it wounds the closeness to the truth, which wrecks the consitancy, too, and without the photo demonstration, it would be a bit random. If you can think of a better method of driving rebels insane there, for example, the more conceivable arm/foot-in-the-door fear, it would really pop the small zit on the section. The "Mr. Smith" idea was quite good, and the CEO idea golden, too. Not much else to pick at here, pretty solid humor. Nice work. |
| Concept: | 8.5 | The idea of elevators being instruments of torture intended to scare employees into behaving is one of the best conspiracy theories I've seen on Uncyclopedia yet. The things to pick at for humor are intmately linked to those of the humor, so my reasons are listed there.
Once again, applause. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | A few problems here and there, but nothing unfixable.
First off, the photos are all on the right of the page, making it look awfully lopsided, at least to me. try alligning half of the photos left, and that will pop yet another zit on the page, in less than twenty-nine seconds, guranteed. Next, the voice of the article shifts from section to section. While this is acceptable, I suppose, for the centerpart with the CEO-type thinking, the ending has lost all the seirousness that was presented at the start. The sooner this is fixed, the better. The rest is on average, acceptable P&F. |
| Images: | 6.5 | The images are by far the worst part of the article. There are a few too many for this size of article, and relying on a photo to have a joke make sense is a very bad idea.
The Early Elevator image makes no sense, and should be scrapped imeadiatly. As well, the head asplosion GIF is a joke played on way too often, and really doesn't need to be there. Simply finding another image will help the article a lot. The captions are really the only redeeming point of the excess of images, so I recomend doing some "surgery" to some images. Also: LEFT FORMAT. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 38.5 | A work of fair talent, this article is not far off for featurability. In need of some lengthening, and some cleanup here and there, but this is a solid idea, that, with a bit of development, could be one of the best toture-related articles yet. |
| Reviewer: | Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 02:22, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
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And the lazy one[edit]
| Humour: | 9 | Gosh, that was a very funny article! |
| Concept: | 8 | Well, it looks basic, but apparently it was expanded into a hilarious article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | You did a great job with spelling. |
| Images: | 8 | No comment. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9 | Not much to be improved. |
| Final Score: | 43 | Overall, you've got one heck of an article. |
| Reviewer: | --Meganew (POST NOW!!!) 17:02, 27 January 2009 (UTC) | |