Talk:Australia/Archive 2

Does anybody like the way I put that opening sentence?

"Ahhh....Australia. The Great Southern Land, Down Under, The Sunburnt Country, Terra Australis, Oz, The Better Version of New Zealand..."

Or does it need more cleaning up? I guess it's a little unfair, but we have a lack of people with a sense of humour. Teehee no-one cares about NZ when they make a map! Scoombie 11:21, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Comment

someone edit in somthing about the fact that they like to say they have the biggest and best stuff in the southern hemisphere. yet they can only do this because of no civilised compotition. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 210.49.188.16 (talk • contribs)

Australian Army

please fix up references to the Army makeup, they are inaccurate.

everyone knows that the accurate description is

"an Abrams Tank and a kelpie with rabies"

Australians are AWESOME

Thank You —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 58.174.105.247 (talk • contribs)

Tall Poopy Syndrome

Why doesn't this deserve a mention? One of the greatest woes of existence on that god-forsaken hell hole.

Australians are Awesome. They Shit all over America

I live in Australia

I live in my damn country full of abos. Blakeman was banned for a week, MU HA HA HA!03:08, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Could someone add in the transport and natives into the article??? Their half decent

Transport

What can I say, Austrlian's love the soft touch and rythimic bouncing of a kangaroo's pouch. This common form of transport was first produced in responce to the kyoto project where people in a desperate attempt to reduce their green house gas emmissions, have turned back to a primitive form of transport. Research done by the CSIRO has created a giant kangaroo that is capable of transporting 25 students or workmen to and from their destined location. It is highly frowned upon when a fellow "Aussie" tries to convince other coutries that we travel around in auto mobiles as this is absured and untrue.

Natives

• • tourist Warning**

The shooting and baiting of natives is now illegal under the "wecome the coloured ones Act, 2005". ANYONE caught shooting, baiting and/or feeding the aboriginies will be dealt with a $200 fine. Giving monkey is ok as the government is alreading doing so.

Australians are MONKEYS

(someone please add more!)

Darwin link crooked

Somebody fix up the Darwin links on this page please - they all lead to Charles Darwin instead of the city. --QXZ 05:30, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

I've written a page for Darwin, but i had to use a different link to the one on this page. That link points to a page which doesn't exist yet, but it's locked by LedBalloon, who (according to their profile page) isn't currently active. Could someone change the links here to point to that page? It's at Darwin_(Northern_Territory) . Swaggie 10:54, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Darwin's link fixed. --IntroUndOutro 13:52, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Australian rugby union team

This comment was removed from the Wikipedia article on the Australian rugby union team, however I think that is funny enough to be included here. I can't add it myself as I don't have an account.

Australians are MONKEYS. The victory, Englands third on the spin, means that England get to keep Australia.

England have won three straight games against Oz at various Rugby World Cups.81.156.71.21 13:33, 10 October 2007 (UTC)

Straya

124.183.243.146 20:48, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

   Australians are MONKEYS. I love this article! but i would like to see the word Australia spelt "stralya" rather than "straya"

thx muchly

It's good: Strayans ave a debate abaht Strayans oo say 'Straya'. --UnLaw 22:45, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

National Anthem

Our national anthem is really not Land down under by Men at Work, but The Vegemite Song... *Ninja look* Sezzaxox 08:26, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Really Boring and Unfunny

Hi, as an Australian I am kind of embarrassed by how unfunny the whole page is. Obviously it's being moderated by some anal kid with self-esteem issues who needs his country to be seen in the best light .. understandable perhaps but works against the whole funniness bit. A bit of lampooning is good. The whole thing comes across as weirdly defensive and

If the page needs to be moderated, can it please be by non-australians, who can get past their protective instinct and concentrate on funniness? It's shameful to compare this article to, say, Canada's, which is hilarious. It's fully of kind-of in-jokes and political jabs which are meaningless to anyone outside the country and unfunny even if you're in - even if you agree with the general sentiment. I didn't come to uncyclopedia to nod and tut sympathetically with some unbearably lame political "jokes", I came here to laugh, and the page falls completely flat.

The article on Australian Language and the cities are way, way better. Whatever was done for them, do it for Australia proper!

- I agree. Someone from Melbourne has been editing. Last time I looked (was prolly quite a while ago) this page was hilarious. Now, not so much.

Paranoia

Why cannot the public edit this article? We have a band of paranoid culture cringers apposed to anyone who isnt on the inside editing the Aussie articles?

We all know how fragile our ego is, but c'mon, we dont want the world to know! Its the great aussie secret!!

I just wanted to add a section on our new motto being 'LEBS OUT', because we've well and truly killed any stereotype we once had about being friendly.

Swearing

I thought I'd ask before I went to the trouble, so does anyone have any objections if I add the odd "fuckin", "shit" or "cunt" every here and there? I thought a nice prelude would be to add "So where the fuckin hell are ya, you fuckin prick?" to the end of the intro.Fuqueue 13:54, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

you removed my truthes you bloody bastards

I ADDED A SECTION ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER THAT ANYWERE ELSE (ESPECIALY AMERICA) AND SOME BLOODY ASSMUNCH DELETED IT! I LET THE OFFENCIVENESS SLIDE AT FIRST BUT NOW IM REALY PISSED OFF! EITHER PUT IT BACK OR IM DELETEING THIS ENTIRE CRAPHOLE WIKI! sorry for yelling im sure you will understand i was not happy about the situation. im just a little irritable because i have only consumed *whos counting* of my normal *whos counting* liters of coffee today.

G'day mate, nice mullet hairdo:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:13, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Editor Needed for Australia

As an old Australian who has tried to contribute to this mess called "Australia", I agree with a previous suggestion that it probably needs a non-Australian to moderate the entry and regularly edit out the infantile swearing and humourless 'jokes' etc. In reply to the person who previously asked, no-one objects to a bit of swearing on Uncyclopedia, but just putting in a lot of expletives - especially with racist or prejudiced remarks, for example "All Kiwis/Poms/Aussies/Swedish/blacks/whites are cunts" - is extremely unfunny. At present the entry is a mix of some original humour, with a lot of prejudice and childish stuff added in. And yes, maybe the "Vegemite song" should be the national anthem, if you think the Kraft company (Switzerland) represents the nation. Perhaps the "Australia" entry gives a true picture of Aussies: once easy-going and welcoming, but now aggressive, angry, prejudiced, racist (Aboriginal people are now sort-of mentioned - previously absent - but Aussie hatred of anything other than white Europeans continually surfaces). Young Aussies are now obsessed with wars and sport, and think of themselves as great sportmen and 'Anzacs' although they are neither. As someone who travels daily on public transport in Australia, I am struck by the all young Aussies who are too weak to give their seats up for old people, pregnant women etc. When I was young I was taught to stand up for older people. Now that I am old it saddens me to see young so-called "Aussies" sitting with ipods plugged into their ears and ignoring everyone around them. Perhaps Uncyclopedia should either: (1) Let the "Australia" page degenerate into the cesspit it will rapidly become if unedited, so that visitors to the entry can see what Australia is REALLY like (and avoid coming here), or (2) put the page out of its misery. I don't think anyone can be bothered trying to reapir the entry because it will be rapidly trashed by yobs. Jduley evil twin of apage 03:33, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

About that "Things that will kill you" list...

Where's all the jellyfish? Those things (even the really really REALLY small ones) are so dangerous that they probably cause injuries/deaths daily in Australia.

--Splodeydope 22:14, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

EDIT: I noticed the tiny little snippet of about Box Jellyfish being friendly. While I do love those adorable little squishy things, this topic still bugs me. I'm pretty sure that jellyfish have the ability to fly nowadays, which is one of the reasons that Australians never walk.