# Quantum entanglement

Quantum entanglement is a common but often misunderstood phenomenon that involves large balls of yarn and kittens. It is the bane of old ladies everywhere. It is known to be the cause of the Quantum Teleportation of socks from washing machines and dryers. Scientists are currently studying Quantum Entanglement in an attempt to conserve our matching sock supply.

Quantum entanglement is the cause of quantum unemployment.

## How quantum entanglement works

A ball of yarn is known to be quantumly entangled with itself after remaining motionless for a period of less than an hour but more than a minute. A ball of yarn will not become quantumly entangled with any other object unless it has interacted with an enraged kitten for some arbitrary period. Kittens that are sufficiently enraged may loop the string through the "rolled-up" extra dimensions, warping physical relationships in the world we know. In particular, gravity and electromagnetism may have a greater effect since their range is reduced by following a string which may have a shorter arc length than the pathway in reality. Dangers may include increased attraction to otherwise disturbingly unattractive members of the opposite sex (the pheromones can use the string pathway through the extra dimensions), and spontaneous lethal compression of the head (magnitude of gravity multiplied as the entanglement may cause an apparent mass increase in the subject).

The formula for quantium entanglement is as follows: ${\displaystyle e=(e^{k}ti)>60<1+.59^{k}*n}$. The cyclic nature of this formula has caused no less than three imaginary physicists to go completely and utterly insane. The entanglement constant, k, is a function of an objects real and imaginary history, describing its propensity to be entangled. N is the number of kittens.

## History

Quantum entanglement was first observed by Noodle-Head Wilson in 1903. Entangled states of yarn have been regularly created in the high-energy collisions of yarnballs, kittens, and antikittens ever since. The kittens may be, or may not be, both at the same time, the offspring of Shredinger's cat. (This may or may not be the same person as Shroedinger. The wave-function collapses to Shredinger if balls of yarn are involved). As of 2005, three levels of quantum entanglement are known.