Nobel Price

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“The EU and its foreigners.....”

~ Jagland? What about the foreigners?


The Nobel Price is an award given yearly to the inventor of the most expensive and useless thing in a given field. Named after Alfred Useless Nobel, inventor of the Very Expensive Sharp And Pointy Thing and guy who is dead now, the Nobel Price is the only reason Sweden is famous, because the award ceremony is held there.

The Price of the Nobel Price[edit]

Winning the award is a great honor, but has made many inventors jealous. Jealous inventors are cranky inventors and you know what that shit means. Jealous inventors have led to the creation of such unfortunate things as:

  • Clocks with radios in them.
  • Clocks and toasted bank accounts.
  • Radios with clocks in them.
  • Toasters with clocks in them.
  • Bank accounts with toasters.
  • Clocks with punching devices attached for tracking bank employee work attendance times.
  • Golden shit.
  • World Wrestling Entertainment
  • Wonders of the world.
  • The fart machine which fucks the shit out of you.
  • Libya
  • Microsoft Vista

Winners of the Nobel Price[edit]

Some past winners of the Nobel Price include:

  • 2010 - Grunder Industries - The ADF-01 Falken - The first fighter aircraft to be armed with a lightsaber.
  • 2005 - Teo Kuan Bing - An incredibly expensive method for turning gold into lead.
  • 1994 - Bose Co. - Bose continues to this day claim they won the Nobel Price this year for everything they make, but in reality, the award was given to Wilson Audio for their $65,000/pair X-1 Grand SLAMM speakers
  • 1992 - Belgram Hopskin - Uranium balloon, expensive and non-functional (double award given)
  • 1990 - Airbus - SR-91 Aurora - A spy plane that replaced the SR-71, and is so expensive, it's top secret
  • 1985 - The Four Seasons - Creation of a dessert consisting solely of gold leaf.
  • 1977 - Solid Gold Dancers - Solid gold lame hotpants (later found to be undanceable in)
  • A long time ago - The insurance premium the Galactic Empire had to pay after the Battle of Yavin
  • Your Mom & Dad

See Also[edit]