Nanotech anti-insect surface-to-air missiles

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“Nanotech doesn't care about insect people.”

~ Keanu Reeves on Nanotech racism

The Nanotech anti-insect surface-to-air missile system is the highest quality insect repellent to come onto the market. It is known for its "I-Don't-Take-Shit-From-Anyone" approach, as the system prefers to kill it's insectile target no matter what harm it will cause to the user.

How it works[edit]

A small battery of nanotech missiles and associated tracking hardware fit conveniently on one corner of your desk, scanning for airborne threats such as ants, praying mantis, mosquitos, wasps and dragonflies.

After a target aquisition, you are given the option of launching a miniature surface-to-air missile at the airbone pest or launch a foam projectile at a nearby person. Its methods of destruction can vary, depending on the model of the missile and nature of the threat.

Upon impact, the NAISTAM's explosion completely destroy a a circle radius of 50 ft. The blast radius becomes engulfed with flames and any life forms will explode into several pieces.


As these missiles leave their launch pad, they spurt out radioactive vapour trails while emitting a whooshing noise during acceleration. When environmentally conscious investigators questioned the creators of NAISTAM (which oddly is an anagram for Aims Ant), NAISTAM replied:

Although unneeded and potentially very dangerous, said effect looks fucking cool.

Several complaints have also been made to the creators of NAISTAM, citing that the blast radius, while effectively destroying all insectile life forms, horribly maims and disfigures the user and any humans nearby. NAISTAM has yet to comment.

Another shortfall is the incredible cost of a single missile, as it would take billions of dollars to eliminate a single swarm. This has resulted in it only being sold in America, killing billions with its deadly shortcomings listed above.