Melinda Gates
| Melinda "Bill Gates' wife" Gates | |
|---|---|
 This is the real Melinda Gates Wikipedia photo (2011), I'm not even joking, this is how she really looks! | |
| Born | Melinda French February 30, 1964 Dallas, Arkansas, U.S. of A. |
| Alma mater | I don't know what an "alma mater" is. It's probably a synonim to "vagina width". |
| Occupation | real ife inspiration for The Young and the Restless |
| Religion | Non-Buddhist Catholicism |
| Spouse | #name |
| Children | let's hope none[1] |
Melinda Gates, (born Melinda French; February, 30, 1964) is a West American businessperson ("businessperson"? Is "businessperson" a word? Whatever, moving on...) and philanthropist. She is the co-founder of the "Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation For Children In Need, But Not Adults" and the wife of Steve Jobs[2].
Personal life[edit]
Melinda was born. And then some boring stuff happened, she went to school, bla, bla, bla, and in 1994 or 1996 she married Bill Gates. Pretty standard until now, but here's where it gets interesting. She has been named by Forbes magazine as one of the most powerful women in the world. This says a lot about women in general. If the candidates to the title of The Most Powerful Woman are Melinda Gates (aka the Supreme Gold Digger), Michelle Obama (aka the Commander in Cannibalism) and Angela Merkel (the valkyrie winner of the Bacon-look-alike contest of 1999), that only means women have to dehumanize themselves to be accepted as equal to men. In the media, as well as in real life, she has been criticized for her ill appearance with phrases like "How the hell can you have all that money and still be ugly?" (T-Boz,TLC). And, to be fair, she looks kinda shitty. She's not particularly old, she has access to the BEST medical care money can buy, but she still looks scarier than the witch from "Wizard of Oz".
"Professional" career[edit]
She worked at McDonald's, a natural transition from attending Hamburger University.
Controversies[edit]
She is also a catholic and, this is for realz, she regularly attends Bilderberg Group meetings. If you don't know what Bilderberg is, it's because they don't want you to know. You can look them up on Wikipedia, they are these rich cunts conspiracy-style meetings that want to unite all western nations against the Chinese or something. If she's a pedophile catholic, AND she works for the Bilderbergs, I'm telling you, this bitch is evil. I know Bill wants to save the world, but maybe he should start by killing his wife, as it is no use to help a million children if your wife's plan is to kill a billion.
References[edit]
- ↑ I just found out she has three kids, I wanna be alone right now, I wanna cry.
- ↑ Quick info: S.Jobs was the poorer, more prone to disease, evil counter-part of B.Gates. While Gates saved African children via donations, Jobs enslaved Chinese kids through sweatshops. They are similar but opposite, like alpha and omega, like the Batman and the Joker, like your hot charming sister and your zombie-looking psychopath mom you "live" with.