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“Just a spicier type of Orange Juice.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lava

“That's hot.”

~ Paris Hilton on her melting flesh

"Lava" is hot, orange, sticky stuff that is hard to get out of carpets, but is an excellent hand sanitizer. You should never get to close to lava physically or emotionally, as it's always very angry and may decide to spit on you and melt your face off, or any other part of you.

Lava is one of the two main ingredients in Hawaiians, therefore, it spends most of its time in Hawaii and makes occasional visits to poor third world countries just to "give them a spook." There are two main kinds of lava, known by the Hawaiian names a'a'u'u and u'i'a'u'i, which are the noises you make when you tread on them.

Pht lava family 11 02.gif

Lava is one of the staple foods of the iguana and Japanese people, and can be safely handled using asbestos gloves, sold at most Hawaiian pet stores. It is one of the few known natural predators of robots.

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