Joy Adamson

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Early sketch by Joy, aged seven.

Joy Adamson was a well known kitty Fiddler and gin drinker.

Early Life[edit]

Joy Adamson was born 20 January 1910 in Austria, but was called Friederike Victoria Gessner which was rather unfortunate, so when her first husband married her he called her "Joy". This was rather inapropriate as she had a sad childhood and her mother cooked her pet rabbit during the war.

As most young women, she had ideas beyond her station, and she considered a career in medicine and also that of a concert painist!! She later regained her senses and married a rich man. She divorced the rich man when a man with a wide variety of pets came along, his name was George Adamson.

George Adamson was a park ranger in Kenya he loved lions, elephants, cheetahs and almost any animal that he could shoot. He had previously been employed to quell the Mau Mau, who were a loud disco-pop band that roamed Kenya killing people who simply wanted a cold gin on the verandha, served at dusk by little jibjib that they had stolen as a child from his parents and enslaved as a rent/house boy.

What she did in Kenya[edit]

Joy drank gin and painted some pretty pictures, she was also rude to her African staff.

Pets[edit]

Critical reaction to her many books.

Joy had a lot of pets which she wrote lots of books about. She captured wild animals and then really messed with their heads before releasing them into the wild to be shot by poachers. Her favourite pet was a lion called Elsa. George had shot Elsas mother, so Joy kept Elsa and stroked and fed her and then released her. Elsa had some cubs and then died.

Joy wrote a book about it. Most of Joys pets bit her African staff quite a lot.

What happened to her?[edit]

Joy was murdered by a cross African because Joy was a cross, slightly rascist Austrian. George was shot by poachers because they were cross as they wanted to shoot lions.

Books[edit]

Joy wrote many books some may have included:

  • Born Free
  • Live Free
  • Forever Free
  • Duty Free
  • Sugar Free
  • Humour Free
  • Fact Free

Other Media[edit]

A film was made about Elsa and Joy. Bill and Ginny mcWherter played Joy and George whilst Shep the dog played Elsa. It was a worldwide smash and is shown in schools even now, to help promote harmony among the races and the capture of wild endangered species. A statue of Elsa and Joy was unveiled by Nelson Mandela in a shopping mall in Durban.