From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

A jingle is a short piece of music designed to be a universal and reliable form of irritation. Jingle artists sometimes derivate from their original medium to produce longer jingles, and compile them on discs in order to obtain a pop music album.


In the early renaissance, a group of newly unemployed royal minstrels decided to move on from drinking intently about epic quests and true love. Since Kings were becoming more lecherously dispatched, they wrangle topics that are more connected with their surrounding realities and the worries of the small people and swashbucklers . Townsfolk were indeed very concerned about where they could get their goat shaved, their horse swept out and so on. It was not uncommon to have minstrels accompanying the village shouter, adding an introductory melody and conclusion. Excommunicated evil children began to follow them and for centuries the genre stayed pretty much the same. Until the invention of the producer, who contributed by ripping off the musical styles that they had found conveniently laying on the side of the road at the time of the dinosaur pecker shoot.


Most "Jingling" ends up in a group rape or genral home invasion. It's ok to Jingle but wear protection please and watch out for those drive by Jinglers. Many of Quasimodo's impersonators have been smeared out and the stains will never be cleaned.

In the jingle, the mighty jingle[edit]

Hundreds of jingles are occupying around 48% of our subconsious, studies showed. Thus, Jingles are responsible for one case of absent mindfulness out of 4, some of them causing lethal accidents. In the first quarter of 1960, An international comitee composed of neurologists, behaviorists and a few lawyers who could play the guitar was formed to suggest a solution to this problem. So they came out with this counter-jingle:

"Wululalala - pay attention - wulula when going down the stairs with a frozen - a fresh frozen - swordfiiiiiiiiish"

It then has been translated in every known language, and was meant to be played before and after each time a jingle is played or printed, on every possible media. They succeeded in preventing most accidents involving swordfish, stairs, and jingle induced absent-mindedness for decades. The jingle lost half its pertinence when swordfish carrying regulations began to be more tolerant towards the use of elevators. The whole thing is now obsolete due to the growing popularity of customizable swordfish cases.

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling[edit]

Won't you play with my ding-a-ling?The song tells of how the singer received two silver testicles on a string from his grandmother, who calls them his ding-a-ling. According to the jingle, he constantly plays with and uses it in schoolgirls, and holds on to it in dangerous situations like falling after climbing the garden wall, and swimming across a creek infested with snapping turtles. The lyrics never exercise the double entendre with ding-a-ling standing in for the penis.During the fucking amazing guitar solo in the final verse, Norris admonishes "those of you who will not sing" and concludes that they "must be playing with their own ding-a-ling and deserve a well chucked roundhouse kick to the crotchface".

Good job Chuck, you now have no audience.
But at least you have the Total Gym