HowTo talk:Beat the Odds

Actually it is [Bertold Brecht] who takes the [credit for these immortal lines]:

Oh show me the way
 To the next whisky bar
For if I can't find 
 The next whisky bar
Then surely I will die

(the song then continues to explain the virtues of child pornography, but hey, those were different times). Just thought I'd mention it in an attempt to appear overly intellectual. -- di Mario 19:27, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

More styles of beating the odds

• Euro - if you are a citizen of a nation that looks down upon the European thingy (America, UK, the whole of Africa spring to mind) perhaps you could think of an utterly cowardly way of beating the odds. Maybe getting the Americans to bomb the hell out of them ? Materials = slithery diplomats, large amounts of money, indignant editorials in the Euro newspapers. Procedure = get your diplomat to talk to the President of the US of A, then induce him (or her) to bomb the crap out of these odd thingies.

• Western - The odds and you stand under a burning sun somewhere in a dusty main street in the village of Nowhere, Alabama. It feels like 1870 never begat 1871. You are sweaty, your right palm is slippery with sweat, in a few heartbeats the odds will draw and you must draw your weapon also, only faster that the odds.

• Kung Fu - Basically, you just proceed to beat the crap out of the odds. Requirements: an asyncrous soundtrack. Procedure: move ahead of the soundtrack. The odds will never see it coming.

Well, that's it for now. See what you can do with it. -- di Mario 20:40, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

Correction on Emo

I hate to bother you again in such a short time, but all suicide experts I consulted recommend slitting the wrist along the direction of the artery, i.e. not at a perpendicular angle. That way you get a much larger wound in the artery and you reduce the risk of your body sealing the wound with blood platelets. Oh and also, it is tradional to fill the bathtub with warm or luke-warm water, not just plain water. Sorry to disturb you again -- di Mario 20:53, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

Ah! I overlooked the warm in you water. Or maybe you just added it whilst I was off editing this. Nevermind. -- di Mario 20:57, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

From Pee Review

Incarnation 1:

Humour:	7	Gets off to a rather slow start, but gets a lot funnier, especially the "procedure" section. My general suggestion for improving this would be shortening the beginning section and adding more grotesque humor to the bottom half. Perhaps, instead of instructing the individual NOT to perform a lobotomy on themselves, it would be funnier to instruct them on how to do just that. I think it would work better with the comedic gruesomeness of the rest of the article if you provided instructions on how to do a self-lobotomy.
Concept:	9	liked the idea of odds being little creatures that live inside people.
Prose and formatting:	10	No complaints here.
Images:	8	Nothing remarkably hilarious as far as pictures are concerned, but the images are relevant, which is more than can be said for many other articles.
Miscellaneous:	6	The beginning is rather unremarkable, as I said before. It's not awful, but it doesn't quite seem on par with the rest of the article. That's where it could improve most.
Final Score:	40	It's a good article. If you improved the beginning a little and really drove home the grotesque, dark humor at the end, it could be even better.
Reviewer:	--THE 21:36, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

Incarnation 2:

Humour:	8	Much better now. The new additions work well. When I suggested improving the beginning, I was also referring to the "What are the odds" section, but that's no biggie. The introductory paragraph was where it needed help the most.
Concept:	9	liked the idea of odds being little creatures that live inside people.
Prose and formatting:	10	No complaints here.
Images:	8	Nothing remarkably hilarious as far as pictures are concerned, but the images are relevant, which is more than can be said for many other articles.
Miscellaneous:	8	Because you actually listened to my suggestions. And because this article has some awesome miscellaneous stuff in it. And because you like Pink Floyd.
Final Score:	43	Nice job. Two minor suggestions: work a little more on the "what are the odds" section (sorry I was unclear about that section in my first review). And the new "European" section is a little unclear and doesn't seem to fit too well with the rest of the article. Maybe work on that a little more too, or just get rid of it.
Reviewer:	--THE 21:36, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

Incarnation 3 (current)

Humour:	9	Excellent job. All of the strange, unfunny stuff in here has been fixed, removed, or made funny.
Concept:	9.5	I STILL like this idea. Like it even better now that the explanation is more betterer.
Prose and formatting:	10	No complaints here.
Images:	8	Nothing remarkably hilarious as far as pictures are concerned, but the images are relevant, which is more than can be said for many other articles.
Miscellaneous:	10	Even the miscellany of this article has improved.
Final Score:	46.5	And if this article has any more ways of being improved, I'll see you on the Dark Side of the Moon! :)
Reviewer:	--THE 21:36, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

UQG

Yeah! Unrelated Quotes Guy has seen the front page! -- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 13:06, 12 July 2007 (UTC)