HowTo:Whore your article on VFD
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Let's face it. Whoring articles on Uncyclopedia is getting harder and harder. The days of posting "Hey, look at what I wrote" on the forums are long gone. Pee Review requests can idle for weeks. MrN9000's whorehouse is on the verge of bankruptcy, threatening to send inadequately clothed women spilling onto street corners everywhere.
But there's one forum that has been inadequately utilized for whoring articles: VFD. This article, therefore, will serve as a handy how-to guide to whoring articles on VFD. Although, actually, that was probably obvious from the title.
Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.
Sorry. I had that stuck in my head.
Step 1. Create a sockpuppet.
Creating a sockpuppet is easier than it sounds. First, obtain a pair of medium-sized tube socks. Glue googly eyes to them. Using a Sharpie, draw cute little eyelashes above the googly eyes.
Your sockpuppets are now complete. Place them on your hands. Then, register a new account on Uncyclopedia.
Step 2. Be a dick.
It's important that your sockpuppet establish itself as kind of a dick. Otherwise, Uncyclopedians will begin to take it seriously, and your VFD nomination could actually end up succeeding. Obviously, the goal of whoring your article is not to have it deleted.
Of course, it's important not to be too much of a dick. Uncyclopedia is a dark, dark place, and if you enter without even a hint of the light of civility, you are likely to be eaten by an admin. Also, there's a danger that your normal account will be blocked for sockpuppetry. So, in conclusion: be dickish in moderation.
A word of caution: don't be a dick to Cajek. This will actually cause people to like you more.
Step 3. VFD!
Now that you've developed a reputation as a general lout, it's time to whore. Pick your favorite article that has not received its due attention. Go to VFD as your sockpuppet and demand its swift removal from the website. You may, however, wish to put your demand in the "keep" box so as not to threaten the article's continued existence.