HowTo:Watch Paint Dry

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A hardcore paint watching match

Overview The internationally recognized sport, and recently voted favorite past time by Jose Vasquez, of Watching Paint Dry on a Wall (or WPDoaW for you hardcore fans out there) is increasingly growing in popularity. This fun game has a remarkably simple concept and unrelenting fun can be had by all. Below is a discription of what you will need.

What You Need[edit]

  1. 1 Comfortable Chair
  2. 1 Bucket of Paint (any type)(yes, even lead if you wish)
  3. 1 Paint Brush
  4. The optimism that something good will actually come out of this

Setting Up[edit]

  1. Find a wall that you would enjoy staring at for at least 3 or more hours
  2. Open the paint bucket and prepare the paint

Getting Started[edit]

  1. Take the paint brush and dip it into the paint
  2. Paint a good even stroke on the wall
  3. Sit
  • Suggestion: Do not paint too thick a coat on the wall or you may be sitting there for longer than expected


Dont be discouraged if you cannot take as much as the pros, it all takes time and talent. To build talent it takes practice, so don't expect as much from yourself as the pros do. Just remember to wear the proper equipment and (hopefully) a lot of no accidents will occur (or minimal pain will be felt) Proper equipment are as follows


These are protection against parents and/or wife after they find out. It is recommended that a wall out of sight is picked for your safety alone

  • Goggles
  • Helmet
  • Various braces and guards are recommended
  • Gloves are also recommended


Although watching paint dry is a fairly safe sport, the following should be observed when WDPoaW'ing.

  • Do not lick paint. This is especially true with lead paint, as the moisture on your tongue will increase drying time.
  • Do not paint animals. Most animals cannot be relied upon to sit for the required drying time, although dead animals are a possible alternative.
  • Do not paint with clear varnishes or sealants. These are virtually impossible to watch dry, as they look very similar wet.
  • Do not paint the town red. This requires a huge amount of paint. More than you're probably willing to buy. Even if your town is very small.


The amazing world of WPDoaW is growing and for those who are newcomers should not be discouraged by lack of being good, but should try to become the best and win the Longest time watching paint dry on a wall award from the Paint watchers council. This award of LTWPDoaWA is the highest sense of gratification any paint watcher can achieve.

Happy Shitting!

See Also[edit]

If you have a wanting for even more life threatening fun try one of these:

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