HowTo:Use HeadOn
See also HeadOn.
It's funny 'cuz it's true.
Directions for Use[edit]
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HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn: apply directly to the forehead.
Detailed directions[edit]
1. HeadOn: Go to the store (either Walgreens, Rite Aid, PETA or some other crack house pharmacy) and either purchase a unit of HeadOn at the store's posted price, or shoot the cashier and take some. Go home and remove the packaging, then slide off the lid at the top, if done correctly, you should see a tan, cylinder-shaped piece of wax-like material (strongly resembling Chavstick) containing the medicine sticking out of the now open-end. There should be a small, thin knob on the other end of the tube, rotate left, this should elevate the waxen material to make for easier use.
2. Apply directly to the forehead: Making absolutely sure that you do not perturb another area of your cranium, elevate your hand, which should be grasping the tube of HeadOn up to the direct center of your forehead, then have the exposed top make direct contact. Once touching your forehead, slide the tube back and forth in a horizontal motion across, occasionally ascending or descending to other areas of the forehead as needed. This should spread the substance evenly across an affected area.
3. Repeat step 2 until your headache goes away or until you start having muscle spasms, or until you bore a hole through your forehead. Once this occurs, rotate the knob rightward and replace the lid and store your tube of HeadOn for later use.
Troubleshooting[edit]
- Problem: I am not using HeadOn
- Possible cause: You have no HeadOn
- Possible solution: Buy a unit of HeadOn
- Problem: I cannot properly grasp my tube of HeadOn
- Possible cause: It is still in its packaging
- Possible Solution: Remove the packaging and try again
- Problem: There is no medicinal "wax"
- Possible cause: You have not removed the lid
- Possible solution: Remove the lid
- Problem: The HeadOn cannot contact my forehead
- Possible cause: The HeadOn is not properly elevated
- Possible solution: Elevate it using the knob. If this proves ineffective, be sure you own a unit of HeadOn
- Problem: I am not putting the tube to my head
- Possible cause: You are not applying directly to your forehead
- Possible solution: Buy a replacement tube of HeadOn
- Problem: The HeadOn is at the same elevation as my forehead, however it is not being applied to my forehead
- Possible cause: Your arm is stretched out in front of your forehead or behind your brain stem
- Possible solution: Move arm in X or Y dimensions as needed, until HeadOn is making contact with forehead (and not eyes.) Buy a replacement tube of HeadOn
- Problem: My Headache has not been alleviated
- Possible cause: See this proceeding section:
- Possible solution: Consider using HeadOn Extra Strength!