HowTo:Tie your shoes

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Get a life, loser. Go tie them up.

In this tutorial, we will teach you how to tie your shoes to avoid you from humiliation or hitting your head on a concrete stair, just like how it happened to Judas Iscariot.

Tying your shoes[edit]

This will be very dangerous, and you will need the following:

  • 1 untied shoe
  • 1 tied shoe
  • A pair of hands
  • 1 brain
  • 1 body
  • A high platform to stand on
  • A low platform to jump on
  • Ceiling
  • (Optional: A friend who hates you)
  • Etc.


  1. Tie the lace of your untied shoe to your other tied shoe
  2. Stand on the high platform
  3. Hang the lace on the ceiling
  4. Lasso your testicles
  5. Jump! (Or let your friend give you a little push)

Congratulations. You will never get laid ever again.