HowTo:Mix a Bill Cosby

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Unsure of what beverage you should get that recent college graduate or aspiring model to celebrate that special occasion? Well you’re in luck because nothing quenches a thirst and a career like a Bill Cosby.


The secret to making a good Bill Cosby isn’t the ingredients but the implementation. In fact, most drinkers have no idea about what is in a Bill Cosby – just the memory of drinking it decades later. With that in mind, you will need the following:

  • Quaaludes
  • A position of authority and influence

In case you cannot get ahold of said ingredients, then it is okay to use a substitute such as Benadryl or a career opportunity. Just make sure the you do not use skip out on the abuse of power or else you will end up with a Mickey Finn.

Mix all the ingredients in a drink while the target isn’t looking. Make sure that there isn’t any indication of your intentions and you are in a state with a statute of limitations. While the selection of the drink often helps in masking your special ingredients, irony is often makes a better disguise. For example, if you she/he/it says that they are tired, use coffee. If your trying to shack your caddy, try an Arnold Palmer.

The serving[edit]

After making the drink, make sure you keep track of which one it is. While the drink is indeed delicious, you wouldn't want your friend to miss out on drinking the least memorable night of their life. It is common for the drinker of the Bill Cosby to feel sleepy after enjoying suck a fabulous drink. Make sure you have a nice bed for them to sleep. Consider doing you friends laundry while they sleep.


Unfortunately, Bill Cosby Drinks have been known to make baseless accusations against the server at the peak of their career. Make sure that you have enough "hush" money and lawyers to remedy this.

See also[edit]