HowTo:Make your date think you're a whore
|
HowTo This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series. See more HowTos |
You didn't want to hurt his feelings right there and tell him/her that you aren't that interested in them. So you're now on your first date with this oh-so-called guy/girl named Craig/Crissa. He/She is 5'7/5'5 but had a history of health problems but now he/she is all fixed but is still socially awkward. This is where I, the HowTo:Make your date think you're a whore page come in.
Before the Date[edit]
So you've said yes in order to avoid hurting his/her feelings. OK, that is perfectly understandable but we here at Uncyclopedia want to play pranks so we came here to teach you. Now it is recommended to have a pen and paper to take notes on the following subject which has two ways to preform.
How should you preform the operation[edit]
There are a few simple ways to preform operation "You Stink" but these are the main two.
One person, one plan[edit]
Call a good friend of yours and tell them to arrive at a specific time, let's say 5 PM. Now you have to look like you still have feelings for your "ex" even though you never even dated. Once he comes up to you, have a very intriguing conversation and act like you forget "Craig" or "Crissa" and have your friend be YOUR date instead of that other person. Once they have left, hopefully they should be pissed off at you but, there is a slight chance that they are ticked off but not pissed. If its the former, then you got nothing to worry about and he will storm off once you start to talk about him/her, but if its the latter where they are only ticked off then say the words "What's your name?" like you don't even know them which then you can preform the last steps. Once he stormed off you can celebrate and/or dance because that weirdo is gone!
The Coincidental Visit[edit]
It is recommended that you have a camera so you can capture the victim's reaction and maybe some random people's as well. Also you can use the camera to have everyone preform a flash mob. Now this is what you aiming for, the slut status by your date! Get a few guys/girls (about 40-150) and have them walk by you and ask how is everything going and other crap like that. Then tell them why you dumped them. Here is a tip! Start off with some ugly guys first and as they go on, make them more stronger which will intimidate your date and stuff like that. For added effect, add a few other people that are the same sex as you and tell them that they were "an experiment". Get all the "exes" and all the people that helped plan the prank storm him as the date leaves and have him humiliated for their rest of their lives. WARNING: Before you do this on any of the steps, ask for his phone number to check on how he is doing.
What Now?[edit]
Well you've successfully ruined his life and you have nothing else to do. You can a)Redo it with someone else or b) get a real date and find a real boyfriend or girlfriend and live your life together forever. Heh, I just made a Rick Astley reference. But anyways, CONGRATULATIONS on Making your date think you're a whore.