HowTo:Get out of doing chores

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So. You have chores, and what, you are actually worried about doing them? You are, aren't you? See, this is exactly your problem. You worry. You have something to worry about. Chores.

There is a simple solution.

Don't worry about them. From there, it is very, very easy to just not do those chores, to not do anything at all, and to be off on your way to a merry, merry life indeed as a hobo.


Chores are a pain, we know. This is why we're providing this handy guide on how to get out of doing them. Because we're nice people, you know?

First step: Avoiding worry[edit]

One time tested method for avoiding worry is to sleep all day. Start practising now, because this skill will be important during the second and third steps.

This is the first step in avoiding chores. Except, technically, you won't exactly be avoiding them. You won't need to.

Worry is this dangerous little thing that prevents all great possibilities that fail to happen from happening. It cripples a person, forces them to submit to the tyrannies of others and to give in to all manner of horrible percieved realities. Worry slowly eats away at the soul, destroying a person from the inside-out, eventually causing them to explode, implode, or get pregnant. (After all, where did you think babies came from? Or why mothers are so paranoid.) So you need to avoid worry.

Oh, you want to know how, do you?



Second step: Nothing[edit]

Now what? you wonder.

Now what, nothing. You're done. You don't need to worry about doing chores anymore, so just don't do them, either.

It's that simple.

In fact, now you don't need to do anything.

You don't need to do your chores, or pay your rent, or eat, or deal with your annoying family or boss or anything. You could be a hobo, but really, you don't even need to live. Because, really, why bother?

Third step: become a hobo or die or something and give us all your stuff[edit]

What, you won't be needing it anymore.