Great Sushi Conspiracy

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  • Fact: JFK ate sushi at one point.
  • Fact: Everything ever associated with JFK is a conspiracy.
  • Fact: So then, sushi is a conspiracy.

The history[edit]

  • Fact: Japan has been a fish-eating people for thousands of years.
  • Fact: Oscar Wilde doesn't care for trout.
  • Fiction: J-Lo's spicy new relationship with Hulk Hogan
  • Fact: Japanese people sometimes eat raw fish.
  • Fact: That raw fish is sometimes called: sushi.
  • Fact: Jerry Franklin was not at his home at the hour of 13:43 on the night of April forteenth.
  • Fact: Jerry Franklin had a date.
  • Fact: A Date with Destiny.
  • Fiction: The feasability of hydrogen powered cars within ten years.
  • Fact: Jerry Franklin left his home at precisely 13:22 to pick up a pizza.
  • Fact: He ordered a pepperoni, extra cheese.
  • Fact: The extra cheese was severely lacking.
  • Fan Fiction: The Star Wars characters take a trip to the Orien system to face evil dopplegangers of themselves.
  • Fact: On the way back to his house, Jerry Franklin drove behind Frank Jimmy for precisely twelve minutes on the interstate.
  • Fact: Frank Jimmy had a date.
  • Fact: A date: with Sara Fisher.
  • Fact: Sara Fisher's last name has "fish " in it.
  • Fact: She didn't like fish. She tended to gag at the sight of fish.
  • Fact: Negligent of Sara Fisher's peculiar inclinations, Frank Jimmy took her for sushi.
  • Fact: It wasn't pretty.
  • Fact: Somebody forgot to tell Frank Jimmy about Sara Fisher's peculiar inclinations.
  • Fact: That person, was JFK
  • Admission: Writing in this format is getting tedious.
  • Request: Can I please write this without the bullets and headings?
  • Denial: Denied!
  • Reluctant groan: Okay...
  • Fact: JFK ate sushi later that night.
  • Fact: JFK would later become president of the United States
  • Fact: JFK was America's youngest president ever.
  • Fact: JFK's brother was named Robert.
  • Fact: Robert ate sushi on the same night that Frank Jimmy lost his girl.
  • Coincidence?: I think not.

Perfectly Reasonable Conclusion[edit]

  • Fact: Sushi's evil hold caused everything to go badly ever. Especially the above incident