Great Sushi Conspiracy

• Fact: JFK ate sushi at one point.
• Fact: Everything ever associated with JFK is a conspiracy.
• Fact: So then, sushi is a conspiracy.

The history

• Fact: Japan has been a fish-eating people for thousands of years.
• Fact: Oscar Wilde doesn't care for trout.
• Fiction: J-Lo's spicy new relationship with Hulk Hogan
• Fact: Japanese people sometimes eat raw fish.
• Fact: That raw fish is sometimes called: sushi.
• Fact: Jerry Franklin was not at his home at the hour of 13:43 on the night of April forteenth.
• Fact: Jerry Franklin had a date.
• Fact: A Date with Destiny.
• Fiction: The feasability of hydrogen powered cars within ten years.
• Fact: Jerry Franklin left his home at precisely 13:22 to pick up a pizza.
• Fact: He ordered a pepperoni, extra cheese.
• Fact: The extra cheese was severely lacking.
• Fan Fiction: The Star Wars characters take a trip to the Orien system to face evil dopplegangers of themselves.
• Fact: On the way back to his house, Jerry Franklin drove behind Frank Jimmy for precisely twelve minutes on the interstate.
• Fact: Frank Jimmy had a date.
• Fact: A date: with Sara Fisher.
• Fact: Sara Fisher's last name has "fish " in it.
• Fact: She didn't like fish. She tended to gag at the sight of fish.
• Fact: Negligent of Sara Fisher's peculiar inclinations, Frank Jimmy took her for sushi.
• Fact: It wasn't pretty.
• Fact: Somebody forgot to tell Frank Jimmy about Sara Fisher's peculiar inclinations.
• Fact: That person, was JFK
• Admission: Writing in this format is getting tedious.
• Request: Can I please write this without the bullets and headings?
• Denial: Denied!
• Reluctant groan: Okay...
• Fact: JFK ate sushi later that night.
• Fact: JFK would later become president of the United States
• Fact: JFK was America's youngest president ever.
• Fact: JFK's brother was named Robert.
• Fact: Robert ate sushi on the same night that Frank Jimmy lost his girl.
• Coincidence?: I think not.

Perfectly Reasonable Conclusion

• Fact: Sushi's evil hold caused everything to go badly ever. Especially the above incident