German Institution of Technology
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The German Institution of Technology (More commonly known as GIT) was founded by Dr. James Patrick Menu in 1862, approximately 120 years before his famous invention of the common drug meth. It was a part of the Universal Science Users Consortium on Kinetics (USUCK) conference, at which Dr. Menu and his associate Mr. Vladimir Putin met and created the Institute. GIT today is the largest operating professional science research college in the Rocky Mountains (they missed). Current research projects being developed at GIT include the first mobile carrier spacecraft, called the "GIT Carrier," a cryogenic interface for the restoration of human tissue, and a systematic method for the consistent arrival of professors to class promptly, called the "Wirklich lauter wecker" (In English, the Really Loud Alarm Clock). Research at GIT continues today, powered by an undergraduate population of almost half of one thousand, and a student to teacher ratio of nearly 1:infinity.
History[edit]
Early Concept[edit]
At the Universal Science Users Consortium on Kinetics, James P. Menu, who held two Ph.D.s in Kinetic Physics and Pie Throwing, was present as a janitor. Having been dismissed from his post at the Swedish University Center/Klingon Institute of Technology (SUC/KIT) facilities as a Professor of Advanced Pie Trajectories for streaking across the campus while throwing pies at students, he was desperately seeking to find a solution at the consortium, which contained some of the greatest minds on the planet.
Fortunately for the GIT, Dr. Menu did not succeed in locating any of these great minds, and instead met with Professor Vladimir Putin, who held a Doctorate in Kinetic Physics of Projectile Weapons from the KGB (Klingon Greater Barbecue). There he learned of the Barber Queue, a long line of barbers, in which the first barber to enter the line is also the first barber to exit the line. Professor Putin, now an expert in the hoarding of nuclear weapons, the usage and misusage of polonium-212, and the Barber Queue, thought that the usage of such a Queue might apply to the creation of a University. It did not.
Construction[edit]
Regardless of the early failures of developing a self-sustaining Barber Queue using the theoretical knowledge of queue-based physics (which was, in part, due to serious mathematicians being more interested in solving theoretical crap like the Reimann Hypothesis), Dr. Menu and Professor Putin were convinced that they could create an institute to further their knowledge of the Barber Queue.
In 1841, the funding to create the GIT was granted by the International Monetary Fund, which, having not yet been created, was loaded with absolutely no one asking for grants whatsoever. Dr. Menu and Professor Putin spent several years working on absolutely nothing, eventually wandering into the Rocky Mountains, which, according to Putin, was a portion of Germany. It is possible, though not certain, that Putin had been looking into one possible future in which Dr. McCoy saved the peace protestor, causing Germany to take over the world. Either way, the facility was built on what Dr. Menu named "Mount Everest/McKinley/K2/St. Helens/Vesuvius/Caldera/Mauna Loa' in the city that came to be known as Tibet, Germany, CO, USA. The mountain was exactly 22 feet tall. Its status as a mountain remains in debate, some experts refer to it as a "tiny rock," while yet others believe it is a river.