Game:Automated Telephone System/subpage

Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

• Please press -1 for these options in rot13.
• Please press 1 for these options in Spanish.
• Press 2 to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.
• Press 3 to check your redwood status.
• Press 4 for more options.
• Press 5 to talk to a customer assistant.
• Rotate your dial 6 times for the rotary phone-compatible version of these options.
• Press 7 for the hearing-impaired version of these options.
• Press 8 for emergency assistance.
• Press 9 if you are ⊂( ﾟヮﾟ)⊃.
• Press 0 to mute the volume.
• Press random buttons if you have no clue what your doing.
• Or press # to hear the options again.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4

Good! I live at 330 Luxemborg Ave. The back door lock is broken. Feel free to come in any time to slay her.

• Press 867-5309 to kill his wife later that night.
• Press 867-5303 to kill his wife earlier that night.
• Or you can hang up and call back to talk to someone else.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Kill her

You jump into the man's backyard later that night and find the back door locked. Several security lights flash on, a loud alarm goes off, and you are attacked by several guard dogs. The man runs out to you as you are being bitten by dogs and tries to offer an explanation.

• Press 22 to listen to his explanation.
• Or press 666 to continue to be mauled.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Kill pie

He finds you easily in broad daylight and shoots you.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Listen

He explains that his wife had a security system installed earlier in that evening, which was at the time unknown to him. He apologizes for the inconvenience and returns inside.

You continue to be mauled by the dogs and die.

The end.

• Press 1337 to restart.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Mauled

You are mauled to death.

The end.

• Press 1337 to restart.

Game:Automated Telephone System/9

You are not here...

Game:Automated Telephone System/Check Status/Step 1

Click here if you got here for no reason or click here to get eaten by a grue.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Customer Assistance

All our customer assistants are unavailable right now. Please hold, and a customer assistant will be with you shortly.

Thank you for holding. A customer assistant has now become available

Game:Automated Telephone System/Emergency Assistance

Call this number

Game:Automated Telephone System/Feedback

Oh shut up!! There are Spaniards sleeping down here!!!!

• Go Back

Game:Automated Telephone System/Fiesta

Una fiesta! Ueba!

• Si usted habla inglés, marque uno.
• Si desea meter un gato dentro de sus pantalones, marque cuatro.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Gato

Ha muerto.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Mute

Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

Please for these options in Spanish.

Press 2 to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.

Press 3 to check your redwood status.

Press 4 for more options.

Press 5 to talk to a customer assistant.

Press 6 for the rotary phone-compatible version of these options.

Press 7 for the hearing-impaired version of these options.

Press 8 for emergency assistance.

Press 9 if you are an administrator.

Press 0 to mute the volume.

Or press # to hear the options again.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Rotary Phone

Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

• Please rotate your dial 1 time for these options in Spanish.
• Rotate your dial 2 times to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.
• Rotate your dial 3 times to check your redwood status.
• Rotate your dial 4 times for more options.
• Rotate your dial 5 times to talk to a customer assistant.
• Press 6 for the normal phone-compatible version of these options.
• Rotate your dial 7 times for the hearing-impaired version of these options.
• Rotate your dial 8 times for emergency assistance.
• Rotate your dial 9 times if you are an administrator.
• Rotate your dial 100 times to mute the volume.
• Or rotate your dial 500 times to hear the options again.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Spanish

Hola, gracias por tu llamada. Éste es el contestador automático. Estamos orgullosos de que elija nuestros simpáticos y fáciles servicios para clientes.

• Si usted habla inglés, marque uno.
• Si usted desea montar una fiesta, marque dos.
• Si desea meter un gato dentro de sus pantalones, marque cuatro.

Game:Automated Telephone System/rot13

• Cyrnfr cerff -1 sbe gurfr bcgvbaf va ebg13.
• Cyrnfr cerff 1 sbe gurfr bcgvbaf va Fcnavfu.
• Cerff 2 gb gryy hf ubj oner lbhe rkcrevrapr jnf.
• Cerff 3 gb purpx lbhe xvggra cbg cvr< fgnghf.
• Cerff 4 gb or n qvpx.
• Cerff 5 gb encr n phfgbzre nffvfgnag.
• Ebgngr lbhe qvny 6 gvzrf sbe gur ebgnel cubar-pbzcngvoyr irefvba bs gurfr bcgvbaf.
• Cerff 7 gb qvrsbe gur urnevat-vzcnverq irefvba bs gurfr bcgvbaf.
• Cerff 8 sbe n uvg zna gb fubbg lbh.
• Cerff 9 gb fhpx onyyf.
• Cerff 0 gb zhgr gur ibyhzr.
• Be cerff # gb urne gur bcgvbaf ntnva.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints

All lines are currently busy, please press 6 to continue waiting

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/2

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us. Please press 6 to continue waiting

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/3

Thank you for your patience. You are now next in line. Please press 6 to file your complaint to one of our highly trained employees.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/4

Thank you for your patience. Unfortunately the operator we had lined up to talk to you has died of boredom. Please press 6 to talk to another operator with more stamina.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/5

Your call is important to us. Please note that any expletives you utter may be recorded for training and amusement purposes. Press 6 to continue waiting.

Thank you for holding. A customer assistant has now become available.

Automated Telephone System/Check Status

Because your redwood status is confidential, we need to verify your identity. Please enter your account information.

This information is purely for identification purposes, to ensure the security of your personal information.*

Automated Telephone System/Hearing Impaired

Thank you for using the automated telephone system.

We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

• Please press 1 for these options in Spanish.
• Press 2 to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.
• Press 3 to check your redwood status.
• Press 4 for more options.
• Press 5 to talk to a customer assistant.
• Press 6 for the rotary phone-compatible version of these options.
• Press 7 for the hearing-impaired version of these options
• Press 8 for emergency assistance
• Press 9 if you are an administrator.
• Press 0 to mute the volume.
• Or press # to hear the options again.