Game:Automated Telephone System/subpage

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Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

  • Please press -1 for these options in rot13.
  • Please press 1 for these options in Spanish.
  • Press 2 to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.
  • Press 3 to check your ricer status.
  • Press 4 for more options.
  • Press 5 to talk to a customer assistant.
  • Rotate your dial 6 times for the rotary phone-compatible version of these options.
  • Press 7 for the hearing-impaired version of these options.
  • Press 8 for emergency assistance.
  • Press 9 if you are ⊂( ゚ヮ゚)⊃.
  • Press 0 to mute the volume.
  • Press random buttons if you have no clue what your doing.
  • Or press # to hear the options again.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4[edit]

Good! I live at 330 Luxemborg Ave. The back door lock is broken. Feel free to come in any time to slay her.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Kill her[edit]

You jump into the man's backyard later that night and find the back door locked. Several security lights flash on, a loud alarm goes off, and you are attacked by several guard dogs. The man runs out to you as you are being bitten by dogs and tries to offer an explanation.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Kill pie[edit]

He finds you easily in broad daylight and shoots you.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Listen[edit]

He explains that his wife had a security system installed earlier in that evening, which was at the time unknown to him. He apologizes for the inconvenience and returns inside.

You continue to be mauled by the dogs and die.

The end.

Game:Automated Telephone System/4/Mauled[edit]

You are mauled to death.

The end.

Game:Automated Telephone System/9[edit]

You are not here...


Game:Automated Telephone System/Check Status/Step 1[edit]

Click here if you got here for no reason or click here to get eaten by a grue.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Customer Assistance[edit]

All our customer assistants are unavailable right now. Please hold, and a customer assistant will be with you shortly.


Thank you for holding. A customer assistant has now become available

Game:Automated Telephone System/Emergency Assistance[edit]

Call this number

Game:Automated Telephone System/Feedback[edit]

Oh shut up!! There are Spaniards sleeping down here!!!!

Game:Automated Telephone System/Fiesta[edit]

Una fiesta! Ueba!

Game:Automated Telephone System/Gato[edit]

Ha muerto.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Mute[edit]

Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.



Please for these options in Spanish.

Press 2 to tell us how cut-rate your experience was.
Press 3 to check your ricer status.
Press 4 for more options.
Press 5 to talk to a customer assistant.
Press 6 for the rotary phone-compatible version of these options.
Press 7 for the hearing-impaired version of these options.
Press 8 for emergency assistance.
Press 9 if you are an administrator.
Press 0 to mute the volume.
Or press # to hear the options again.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Rotary Phone[edit]

Thank you for using the automated telephone system. We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.

Game:Automated Telephone System/Spanish[edit]

Hola, gracias por tu llamada. Éste es el contestador automático. Estamos orgullosos de que elija nuestros simpáticos y fáciles servicios para clientes.

Game:Automated Telephone System/rot13[edit]

  • Cyrnfr cerff -1 sbe gurfr bcgvbaf va ebg13.
  • Cyrnfr cerff 1 sbe gurfr bcgvbaf va Fcnavfu.
  • Cerff 2 gb gryy hf ubj oner lbhe rkcrevrapr jnf.
  • Cerff 3 gb purpx lbhe xvggra cbg cvr< fgnghf.
  • Cerff 4 gb or n qvpx.
  • Cerff 5 gb encr n phfgbzre nffvfgnag.
  • Ebgngr lbhe qvny 6 gvzrf sbe gur ebgnel cubar-pbzcngvoyr irefvba bs gurfr bcgvbaf.
  • Cerff 7 gb qvrsbe gur urnevat-vzcnverq irefvba bs gurfr bcgvbaf.
  • Cerff 8 sbe n uvg zna gb fubbg lbh.
  • Cerff 9 gb fhpx onyyf.
  • Cerff 0 gb zhgr gur ibyhzr.
  • Be cerff # gb urne gur bcgvbaf ntnva.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints[edit]

All lines are currently busy, please press 6 to continue waiting

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/2[edit]

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us. Please press 6 to continue waiting

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/3[edit]

Thank you for your patience. You are now next in line. Please press 6 to file your complaint to one of our highly trained employees.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/4[edit]

Thank you for your patience. Unfortunately the operator we had lined up to talk to you has died of boredom. Please press 6 to talk to another operator with more stamina.

Game:Automated telephones systems complaints/5[edit]

Your call is important to us. Please note that any expletives you utter may be recorded for training and amusement purposes. Press 6 to continue waiting.

Thank you for holding. A customer assistant has now become available.

Automated Telephone System/Check Status[edit]

Because your ricer status is confidential, we need to verify your identity. Please enter your account information.

This information is purely for identification purposes, to ensure the security of your personal information.*

Automated Telephone System/Hearing Impaired[edit]

Thank you for using the automated telephone system.

We pride ourselves on our customer-friendly service.