David Firth
David Firth (23rd January 1783 - 2nd May 1863) was an English poet, known for his 1804 Gothic poem "The Macabre Tale of the Man With the Salad Fingers".
Career[edit]
Firth founded the publishing company "Obese Pastry", and began the famous poetry series "The Macabre Tale of the Man With the Salad Fingers" in 1804, a poem about a mysterious figure who attacks people, leaving only a rusty sppon at the crime scene. This poem proved popular with George III, until rumours spread that George III was Salad Fingers. As a result of this, Firth was sentenced to prison for 2 months, until he was released because the rumour had died down.
In 1805, Firth wrote a new poem, "The Delightful Story of Gerald Jackson", a story about a young boy named Gerald " Jerry" Jackson, who was haunted by a disturbing entity known as the Man of Chocolate.
Some say that Firth's literature was the very inspiration for Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein. Lord Byron described David Firth as "the most magnificent poet on this earth since William Shakespeare".
Here is excerpt from Firth's poem "The Macabre Tale of the Man with the Salad Fingers": Greetings, my friends. I have a strong affinity with rusted items of cutlery, and like to feel their rusted kiss upon my long fingers.
So, in a desperate need to quench my desire for cutlery, I quickly rushed to a nearby house, and did quote... "Salutations, young child. I would like to enquire where you keep your items of cutlery".
The inhabitant of this particular dwelling snarled and uttered the most dreadful sound imaginable. I responded swiftly "I see. Then I must escort myself from the premises. But first I would like to caress this rusty kettle".