Celebrity Advice/Answer 4

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Remember, the duct tape adhesive wears off quicker in smaller sweatier clubs!

Dear Oliver,

There’s nothing worse than having your talent ignored, is there. Take my advice – turn up at work wearing a dress made from those monk fish and a necklace of carved carrots, totter about on eleven inch heels for a while and tell everyone you’re a genius. Don't worry if you can't walk on the heels properly - falling off them will probably get you noticed even more and, if you can fish a couple of spider-crabs out of the freezer for ear-rings, so much the better.

If that doesn’t get their attention, try pretending not to be a man by sticking your penis between your buttocks with duct tape and adopting a weird voice.

Worked for me!


Press here to return to the Advice Page.