Carrick-on-Shannon
Carrick-On-Shannon is a town located in Co. Leitrim in Ireland. The town is located in an unknown region in the lost midlands of Ireland. There is only one road to the town. It is unfortunately located 16km from Mohill.
| aka Farm City | |
| GENERAL INFORMATION | |
|---|---|
| motto | "If You Can Grow it, You Can Eat it" |
| anthem | "Great Leitrim Republic" |
| currency | Leitrim |
| GEOGRAPHY | |
| county | Co. Leitrim |
| country | Ireland |
| DEMOGRAPHICS | |
| population | 8.5 Million (All from 6 Families) |
| ethnic groups | Irish, Leitrimish, Boggers, Ghouls |
| languages / dialects | 75% Irish, 20% English, 5% Can't Talk |
| religions | Scientology |
| GOVERNMENT | |
| government | Anarchy |
| Brian O'Driscoll | |
| HISTORY | |
| established | 1892 A.D |
== Establishment ==
Carrick-On-Shannon was founded by Homeless People, who were turned down by Pat McGourty in Mohill in 1891. The old infrastructure of the town was mostly shopping carts that the Homeless stole from ASDA stores. But when Brain O'Driscoll came he spent millions rebuilding the town into a competitive shithole. Despite being a larger town, many people still tried to leave to go to Mohill. In 1950 new people populated the town, so most of them will tell you that's when it was founded.
Population[edit]
The town was originally just 50 to 90 people who were turned down at the Great Mohill Bungalow, but the population rapidly grew and by 1943 the population had grown to well over 10 Million. So in 1948 it was decided that Carrick-On-Shannon should be culled because of a lack of resources. However, due the incompetence of the Irish Government the entire town was culled by accident. But in 1949, an operation to repopulate the town was started and 8 Families from Co. Kerry were sent up (They breed like rabbits). The population of Carrick-On-Shannon failed to reach over 20,000. But in 1999 the New Supreme Leader, Brian O'Driscoll introduced the Mohill Policy. Population grew at an alarming rate after that. The next culling is scheduled for 2016.
Government[edit]
The town was Anarchist up until 1997, when Brian O'Driscoll came and Crowned himself Supreme Leader of Carrick-On-Shannon. Here are some of his policies since taking power.
- All people must wear Hats. (1998) Bandit Policy
- English Must Be Outlawed. (2001) Anti-Monarchy Pact
- The Town Must be self-sufficient. (2001) Bogger Policy
- Anyone who tries to escape to Mohill will be shot. (1999) Mohill Polciy
- Leitrim is an official (Unrecognized by any Countries) Military State. (2002) The Gay Declaration
Carrick-On-Shannon was a Dictatorship, until the people got sick of Brian's policies and stormed his mansion. His secret police were overrun and killed. He still controls 23% of the town, and has built a giant wall around the area. So the remaining 77% is Anarchist once more.
Sports[edit]
The town of Carrick-On-Shannon, like most of Leitrim has never won anything to do with sports. However, they compete against each other in competitions. The current fastest man in Leitrim ran 100 meters in 162 seconds. Basketball has become increasingly popular over the last decade, the Carrick Cougars made it to the NBA final in 2011 when Michael Jordan made a spectacular comeback to basketball and was named as the teams shooting guard.
The Town[edit]
Many tall buildings were built in the town, but they are all destroyed buildings because the locals believe any buildings over 20 meters are Cursed. 40% of the town is abandoned due to the locals belief that Dragons might be hiding there.
According to 2008 Statistics, the Town has around 860,000 Pubs.
Roughly 97% of the town are employed in agriculture, after basic farming was introduced to the town in 2007.
Religion[edit]
A majority of the town was Catholic up until 1950, but when the people from Kerry repopulated the town they though it was stupid and decided to believe in Scientology.
Language[edit]
The original people of 1892 couldn't speak but they are a minority today after they were all killed or driven into the Shannon. Most of the settlers from Kerry who moved there spoke English but after it was outlawed in 2001, Irish became the most popular language. They are currently working on a new language, a mix between English and Irish called Leirimish.
Ghouls[edit]
After the mass culling of 1948, to avoid death some original settlers from 1892 ran into the Shannon and lived in under bridges. In 1994 when they finally came back to the town there were only 80 left and out of that a mere 14 were not Ghouls. They were killed by locals because the disgusting Ghouls were slightly more attractive than the locals themselves. They were driven into the hills were at least 50 of them remain. A Ghoul know as Joe Lannan makes regular appearances in the town, often chasing locals while exposing himself.
- Ghoul. a human who is the result of 5 Generations of inbreeding.