AntiAntiLemming
“If an Anti-Lemming comes into contact with an Anti-Anti-Lemming the function of the Lemming operator does a mathematical back flip”
“If an Anti-Anti-Lemming and a Lemming collide they make the Anti-Lemming, however collisions between the Anti-Anti-Lemming and another Anti-Anti-Lemming is experimentally proven to make an Anti-Anti-Anti-Lemming”
“The Anti-Anti-Lemming? That's the name of that stripper bar down the street isn't it?”
The Anti-Anti-Lemming (also known as the Gnimmelintan) is the complete polar opposite of the Anti-Lemming, and the non-polar opposite of the Lemming. The existence of the Anti-Anti-Lemming has been experimentally proven by scientific drunkards, such as Robert Oppenheimer (who doesn't exist). When told to repeat the experiment he asked the Norwegian Nobel Committee for some more beer to recreate the experimental conditions. Oppenheimer never received his requested six pack of Heineken and thus the Anti-Anti-Lemming has never been proved since.
Anti-Anti-Lemmings have be seen to participate in various trades within their communities such as anti-climbing, anti-digging, anti-building, anti-floating or anti-suicide bombing. However when the arctic Anti-Anti-Lemming recession occurred, in the year of when it happened, these anti-occupations were discontinued.
Mathematical Proof of Anti-Anti-Lemmings[edit]
The non-existent Oppenheimer formulated the mathematical hypothesis of the Anti-Anti-Lemming. Thereafter, due to getting really drunk at a science party held by Enrico Fermi, he experimentally proved its existence as a party trick. The mathematical model for deriving the Anti-Anti-Lemming from the Schrödinger equation is as follows:
People have tried dried to model the Anti-Anti-Lemming using computational quantum mechanics of the above formulation. Only Schrödinger's cat has solved the equation in eight dimensions. The Schrödinger's claims that Oppenheimer's experimental proof involved putting the Lemming in a box with a radioactive source. In this state the Lemming is believed to be simultaneously alive and dead. Albeit, only half of the people at Enrico Fermi's party confirmed Schrödinger's cat actually saying this. The other half the party guests claimed that the cat was dead. A simplification of the AntiAntiLemming was proposed by Marie Curie whom, while also drunk at the party, claimed that the Anti-Anti-Lemming could perhaps be seen as the sum total of two Anti's, a Lem and a Ming:
Schrödinger's cat was embarrassed by how easily the AntiAntiLemming had been described and sought revenge by murdering Marie Curie with the radioactive material found in its box. No one truly remembers the true outcome of the Anti-Anti-Lemming proof arising from that party, but everyone had a good time.
Public Response to the Anti-Anti-Lemming[edit]
When first proposed the public response to the theoretical Anti-Anti-Lemming was, on the whole, negative. Newspapers were reported stating "would not an Anti-Anti-Lemming simply be a Lemming?". However the people who wrote these Newspaper articles were journalists and did not truly understand how the mathematics behind Lemmingology actually worked. Smarter people who understood exactly what the Anti-Anti-Lemming was, and what it could do, were terrified to hear that Robert Oppenheimer had experimentally proved its existence. Many doomsday theories were announced, the majority of which claimed that the Anti-Anti-Lemming would one day descend from the sky on the back of a lemon with legs; jumping from the cliffs of heaven and burning all whom dwell in Earth below in a fire wrought of its mathematical existence. The exact date and time of the Anti-Anti-Lemming apocalypse has not been entirely decided upon. Some fractions believe it will happen on the 05/06/2032, others believe on the 04/06/2032. Others have simply claimed that the apocalypse will simply "happen when it happens", these latter people are heretics and should be burned before they undermine the wrath of the Anti-Anti-Lemming. Burn them. Burn them now!
The worship of the Anti-Anti-Lemming is a very common religious practice in places such as Kunoshima island and Clipperton island. No one is entirely sure of how Anti-Anti-Lemming worship is performed, but it is said by some to involve the sacrifice of one's toenails. The members of the church of the Anti-Anti-Lemming is, however, declining due to the majority of the populace of these islands converting to Pastafarianism or Jedi.
Splitting the Anti-Anti-Lemming[edit]
The anatomy of the Anti-Anti-Lemming was discovered by the non-existent Robert Oppenheimer, according to a drunken Schrödinger's cat at yet another party, by colliding an Anti-Anti-Lemming with another Anti-Anti-Lemming. The results showed background scattering of Anti-Anti-Anti Lemmings, confirmed by Albert Einstein. It is unknown how many Anti-Anti-Anti-Lemmings compose an Anti-Anti-Lemming, but a safe guess is above five. In this state the Lem and Ming are in a very excited state. You can hear them moaning with pleasure, continuously banging into each other. The Anti-Anti-Lemming can not contain this quanta of energy, and so liberates it in an explosion of disintegrated tacos evolved from the Anti-Lemmings.
The Anti-Anti-Lemming Stripper Bar[edit]
Its a good place, you should go there some time. Ask for Charlotte and she'll get you a good deal.