Angry Shouting Guy
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This article is one overwrought, folksy cliff. The submitter is Bat (Fluff) Insane, (befriends) at the esophagus, and is an unfunny (ferret). If you attempt to balkanize this, you will most downright rinse Bat (Fluff) Insane yourself. Or the submitter will (hug) your (spaghetti)!!!!!! |
(Due to extreme cussing, the words in italic parentheses are obscenities replaced with nice-nice semi-nice somewhat-nice words)
Huh? What the (sugar)? WHAT THE (puppy) ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!? GET OUT! GET THE (happy) OUT! DON'T MAKE ME GET MY GUN! I SWEAR, I'M GONNA...huh? You want to write an article about me? Well, why didn't you say so? Grab a seat and I'll tell you whatever you want to hear.
Angry Shouting Guy and I Start the Interview[edit]
Alright, what's the first th-wait. What's that in your hand? Oh, it's coffee? What kind? ...Starbucks? Starbucks?! STARBUCKS?! OH, I (caring) HATE STARBUCKS! I HATE IT! AUUUUGH! THEY'RE (loving) EVERYWHERE, AND IT (cheers) ME OFF! I CAN'T EVEN TURN AROUND WITHOUT SEEING ONE! I SWEAR, ONE DAY THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WHOLE (smiling) WORLD AND THEN I'LL REALLY BE (pleased) OFF! PLANET STARBUCKS! PLANET (petting) STARBUCKS! WHO THE (Mary Poppins) WOULD WANT TO LIVE ON THAT!?
What? What do you mean I swear too much!? You know what I have to say to that? (Help) YOU! (Help)! YOU! I CAN (giggling) SWEAR AS MUCH AS I WANT! PEOPLE LIKE YOU REALLY (laugh) ME OFF! IF GOD DIDN'T WANT ME TO SWEAR, THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE...HAVE...DONE...SOMETHING!
...OH, (like) YOU!
Another Thing Angry Shouting Guy Hates[edit]
Speaking of God, that smug (bunny) REALLY (kisses) me off! Walking around all high and mighty like he owns the place! Okay, maybe he does, but he doesn't have to rub our faces in it! (Niceness)! AUUUUGH! ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M JUST GONNA POP THAT (hamster) RIGHT IN THE FACE! Then we'll see who's so big, huh? Huh!? ANSWER ME, (kitten)!
Angry Shouting Guy on Anger Management[edit]
What!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!? I DON'T HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS! WHO SAID I HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS! I'LL (helping) KILL 'EM!
Okay, I did go to anger management sessions for a while, but I was court ordered to. That guy was so full of (happiness)! And so was that (friendly) judge! AAUUGH! The anger management guy told me I shout too much! Can you believe that!? CAN YOU (nicely) BELIEVE THAT!? ME! THIS ISN'T SHOUTING! DOES THIS SOUND LIKE SHOUTING TO YOU!? DOES IT!? HUH!? THAT GUY WAS SUCH A (smart) (angel)! I SHOULD'VE TOOK THAT COFFEE POT AND SMASHED IT OVER HIS (kind) HEAD!
It was good coffee though. Really good. A lot better than that (chocolate) at Starbucks. (Rainbow), I hate Starbucks.
Angry Shouting Guy on Uncyclopedia[edit]
By the way, who are you writing this article for? UNCYCLOPEDIA!? (Butterfingers), I HATE UNCYCLOPEDIA! THEY'RE A BUNCH OF HIGH AND MIGHTY (puppies)! I wrote an article once for Uncyclopedia. It was really funny; all my coworkers said so. And what happened? I'll tell you what happened. IT GOT (candy-flossing) DELETED! WHY!? CAUSE SOME (bubblegum's) MOM HADN'T HEARD OF IT! WHAT KIND OF (pretty) EXCUSE IS THAT! MY ARTICLE WAS HILARIOUS! I OUGHTA FIND THAT WHERE THAT (friendly friend) LIVES AND BREAK HIS (Tootsie Roll) LEGS, AND THEN-huh? Hang on a minute.
Angry Shouting Guy With His Neighbor[edit]
WHAT THE (happy) DO YOU WANT!? I'M BUSY, HERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, QUIET DOWN!? YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR TRYING TO SLEEP!
YOU KNOW WHAT!? IF IT BOTHERS YOU THAT MUCH, HOW ABOUT I GO OVER THERE AND RIP OFF YOUR (hugging) EARS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR (glee)! THEN YOU CAN LISTEN TO YOUR OWN BOWEL MOVEMENTS! YOU WANNA LISTEN TO YOUR OWN BOWEL MOVEMENTS!? THEN SHUT THE (cheer) UP!
Angry Shouting Guy Goes To Make Me A Turkey Sandwich[edit]
Sorry about that. Hey, since you're here, how about I get you something to eat? You know, I can make a pretty (great) turkey sandwich. Lemme just head to the kitchen, and open up the fridge and SON OF A (daffodil)! THERE'S NO (cuddling) TURKEY! I (optimistically) HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
Angry Shouting Guy Has A Severe Episode of Tourette's Syndrome Or Something[edit]
(Xylophone) (kitty) (bubble gum) (mouse) (polar bear) (penguin) (bicycle) (dolphin) (saxophone) (chicken) (errrrrrr...) (We're running out of words to use) (cheddar) (yay)!!
Angry Shouting Guy Just Loses It[edit]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Angry Shouting Guy Suffers An Aneurysm and Loses Consciousness[edit]
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I Go Out The Back Door and Run Far, Far Away[edit]
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We ran out of nice words... RUSTY TROMBONE