Anatoly Karpov

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“The Soviet Union has never before seen such a man. Nor will they ever again.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Anatoly Karpov

Anatoly Karpov
Name of Office: Soviet Premier
Term of Office: 1964-1985
Predecessor: Boris Spassky
Successor: Garry Kasparov
Date of Birth: 1920
Date of Death: Sometime between 645 and 2534
Place of Death: Moscow, Russia
Profession: Politician
Political party: Communist Party of the Soviet Union

Anatoly Karpov was the 4th Soviet Premier. He succeeded Boris Spassky, after his death in 1964. Karpov was known as a staunch defender of Communist Doctrine, and his reign was marked with a steep decline of relations with the United States and the United Kingdom of England.

Early Life[edit]

Born into a family of devout catholics, his family was slaughtered and he was orphaned. Determined to make things right in the USSR, he joined into politics in his youth. Debating was one of his favorite things, and he often finished off his opponents with his razor gauntlets.

Rise to Power[edit]

Karpov excelled in politics, and eventually became quite close to Boris Spassky. On his death bed, Spassky named Karpov his successor.

Soviet Premier[edit]

Unlike his predecessor, who wished to become closer with the USA, Karpov rejected this idea and decided to have only one meeting with then President Charles Nelson Reilly. During the meeting, Reilly notoriously blew smoke into Karpov's face, humiliating him in front of his communist friends. He immediately executed all of them, and told Reilly that he would never again meet with the USA. He was also highly antagonistic to the British Ambassador Ray Keene, who he later declared in a speech to the nation, "Smelled of Fish".

Other accomplishments were a rejuvenation of the potato crops that had fell into disrepair during the Spassky years.


He died some time ago, by a maniacle kitten stabbing him repeatedly in the face with a potato peeler. How the kitten was able to hold the potato peeler is still debated. It is however known that Karpov aggravated the kitten with his eyes, as they casually looked opposite directions or began to glow.


Karpov is remembered kindly in the propaganda filled environment of the Soviet Union. The rest of the world, however, recognises him as a terrorist and murderer, as well as quite a success story for orphans worldwide.

Preceded by:
Boris Spassky
Soviet Premier
1964 - 1985
Succeeded by:
Garry Kasparov