Uncyclopedia:Legal Department/Accident1
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Example of an accident and possible proceedings thereafter
As a hypothetical example, let us suppose you have driven your Lupus homini vehicle into a tree. The tree may be growing on someone else's lands. It may have been planted there for the purpose of causing damage to vehicles, and injuries to drivers and passengers of the vehicles in question. The Uncyclopedia Legal Department will find out who has planted the tree and summon the guilty party to court. If the tree has not been planted, the Department will find out any person(s) whose responsibility it could have been to cut it down, and summon all of them to court. The accident victim(s) stand a fair chance of receiving at least a reasonable compensation, or, failing that, the Department will still be paid for its troubles.
unLEGALpedia
The Supreme Uncyclopedia Legal Department
Offer of Legal assistance by the Uncyclopedia Legal Department
To all accident victims
All of those who have accidentally suffered bodily harm, loss of mental abilities, loss of property or dependants: The Uncyclopedia Legal Department (which henceforth in this document will be referred to as UnLegal, or the Department) will offer legal assistance at a disproportionately low fee. If you even suspect someone else has been guilty in any way in an accident you have had, you have perfect ad hoc domini menstruat reason to turn to UnLegal for assistance. Even if your injuries have been comparably slight, there is always an outside chance the guilty party in your accident can be made to pay you large sums of money habeas corpus. The party in need of assistance may please note that "comparably slight" can be translated in many different ways, mostly depending on who is to receive compensation and how they have been behaving during the legal proceedings.
The Uncyclopedia Legal Department has at its disposal a large and well-experienced team of lawyers, who will do everything in their power to ensure the party in need of assistance will receive the best legal assistance possible, and that they receive the largest possible compensation for their injuries. The fees of the Department depend on several factors, the main one of which is the willingness and ability of the party in need of assistance to invest in forwarding his case in the proceedings the Department will start on their behalf. The size of compensation the accident victim will receive is often directly proportionate to the monetary advances he is prepared to invest in supporting his claims. The Department will also charge a percentage of the compensation. The percentage will not often exceed 90%.
Example of an accident and possible proceedings thereafter
As a hypothetical example, let us suppose you have driven your Lupus homini vehicle into a tree. The tree may be growing on someone else's lands. It may have been planted there for the purpose of causing damage to vehicles, and injuries to drivers and passengers of the vehicles in question. The Uncyclopedia Legal Department will find out who has planted the tree and summon the guilty party to court. If the tree has not been planted, the Department will find out any person(s) whose responsibility it could have been to cut it down, and summon all of them to court. The accident victim(s) stand a fair chance of receiving at least a reasonable compensation, or, failing that, the Department will still be paid for its troubles.
Additional fees may also be charged depending on the outcome of the trial.
Back to the article: Accident