Uncyclopedia:Foreign Office/Times

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It's the 14th of April. On behalf of all the Translators and Ambassadors of the Glorious Foreign Office, the Dutch Chief Translator brings you the Foreign Times.
The News You Never Knew That You Wanted To Know

PRAGUE - After months of war, weeks of peace negotiations, and several days of cease-fire, the Czech government and the Foreign Office have finally signed a peace treaty, the Treaty of Brno. All hostilities have ended. The Czech Republic have even joined the Foreign Office. Now, the only enemies left are Iceland, Sweden, and Finland. Army chiefs are planning an attack on attack on Malmö as we speak. However, the Dutch Chief Translator, who initiated the peace negotiations with the Czech Republic, is also planning on making contact with Sweden, Finland, and neutral countries such as Hungary and Poland.

The Czech, initially infamous for their metafobia, have sent a representative to London. The International Armies have retreated from the Sudetenland. All damage done to cities like Karlóvy Váry, Plzeň, and Brno will be repaired by Germany, the Foreign Office and the Czech Republic together.
After the disappearance of the English Ambassador and Grand Captain Siddhartha Wolf, the signing off of the Hungarians, and the prolonged absence of the French and Polish contingents, this stroke of luck was really needed.

BUDAPEST - Siddhartha Wolf, the English Ambassador and Grand Captain of the Foreign Office, has been found. But not in Dresden, where his squadron should have returned, but in Budapest, Hungary. This has been confirmed by both Grand Captain Wolf and the Hungarian authorities. Hearing from Wolf was an enormous relief to the Foreign Office Staff, who had been afraid of losing the Father of the Foreign Office.

After an ambush by Czech, Slovak, and Finnish soldiers near the borders of Prague, Wolf's squadron was believed to have retreated to Dresden, Germany. But seeing the risk of being caught by the Czech army, the squadron went undercover and travelled through Slovakia to Hungary. From there, the squadron scattered. Some soldiers found their way to Vienna, others stayed in Hungary.

Wolf has started work as an English teacher in the Hungarian capital city. He says he has been traumatised by the war events and won't be seen anywhere near the London Office for quite a while. The Temporary Grand Captains, Lars and Praetorian, have decided that Wolf may take over anytime he wants.

We will bring more international news to you, when... well, uh... when it's there!

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