UnSignpost:Article/A way out
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By SPIKE
Veteran archivist Anton199 recently stumbled onto the special-page Special:CloseMyAccount. The existence of such an article is remarkable, as it is right there in the policy manual that no one gives Admins that no one's account is ever closed, and the most that they can do is scoop the meat out of their user page so that Google won't list all the bad edits they made before they matured. (Or contact Wikia directly and threaten to sue.)
As our username database is famously separate from the rest of Wikia, requiring Uncyclopedians not only not to use their usual handle but to pick one that no one anywhere else in Wikia has chosen, there were doubts that the special page would actually work here, but Wikia assured us it had been tested on Uncyclopedia.
As when Grandpa tells the kids which dresser he keeps his loaded handgun in, the editors are not actually advising anyone to use Special:CloseMyAccount, but simply informing them "for future reference." Management has not decided how actively to promote this method of ensuring that, if you are tempted to log in next year, you will be unable to and will have to waste your limited creative juices creating a dopey name for a sockpuppet. Moreover, Anton199 advises that, after "testing the feature," he availed himself of the email option to cancel his election, meaning that his whispered three-week absence means something else entirely.