UnBooks talk:One Fine Day at the Market

From Pee Review

So yeah, I wrote this shit up, but have no idea whether anyone finds it entertaining or not. If I could have some suggestions, that would be nice. (Luxury-Yacht 17:09, 7 November 2006 (UTC))

It's interesting; weird, yet familiar. Also, it's "S, A, T-U-R, D-A-Y...NIGHT!" (damn Bay City Rollers...) and the story may be a bit too random. Of course, I only say that because I'm back on my medication.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 12:56, 8 November 2006 (UTC)

It was almost a stream of consciousness style I was using; I pretty much wrote whatever I was thinking, and I was in a really weird mood when I wrote it. I don't know how I could make it more "linear", if that's even possible to do without ruining the entire story.(Luxury-Yacht 15:40, 8 November 2006 (UTC))

Heh. You need to read the complete works of Simon Travaglia: http://bofh.ntk.net/ - David Gerard 12:16, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

Not bad. Have you heard of a book called "Stories From A Moron"?It's like Letters From A Nut, except this guy sends stories he wrote to magazines, asking for it to be published, when the story has nothing to do with the magazine (e.g. he sent "I Love Dogs" to "I Love Cats" magazine). Then he'll show the response, then he'll send it again with little changes that make it loosely associated with the magazine in bold and underlined. It's hilarious.(Luxury-Yacht 20:25, 10 November 2006 (UTC))

I'd like some more feedback. I haven't really got many suggestions or criticisms so far, and I want to imrove this. Anyone else have any ideas on how to improve this story?(Luxury-Yacht 17:46, 20 November 2006 (UTC))

I thought the story was wonderful. You were able to effectively utilize the randomness without making it too stupid. 216.11.46.10 15:54, 15 April 2008 (UTC)