UnBooks talk:Dick Francis: Also-ran

From Pee Review

My first attempt at an UnBook so be nice. I'd like some ideas for how I can extend it in more interesting ways rather than banging out the same joke that pretty much defines the article at the moment. Don't bother to review it if you haven't read a couple of Dick Francis novels. Thanks --Kelpan 21:02, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

Some ideas I have for you. Use them, abuse them, ignore them, anything you like.

• Have the owner of the beautiful daughter green horse ridden in the first race utter some false accusation in front of the police, so that your protagonist becomes a suspect too. It later turns out he is an homosexual secretly in love with you (well who wouldn't be ?), who inadvertently witnessed your roll in the hay (hah!) with the beautiful daughter, and then told lies about you out of spite.
• In the aftermath of the roll in the hay, you eavesdrop on a conversation between a man and a woman in another part of the stable. They are talking about "horse", and how it is going to be stolen and then returned for a suspicious large amount of money. Turns out later they were speaking "horse" as in heroin. So your protagonist rolls up an international gang of drug importers as well. The person murdered (Rob Ferguson) knew of this and was attempting to blackmail the criminals, and got a bullet in the back for his troubles.
• Don't forget to mention that the BBC's the News at Eight ran an item in which the news about your three victories today is extolled in great detail, as it is a newsworthy fact.
• Dogs. Englishmen that hang out with the horse racing circus circuit also are dog enthusiasts. You yourself of course have a stylish shorthair Jack Russell terrier, with a stylish yet manly name like eh.. "Jack" or maybe "Russ". The owner of the green horse is also into dog-racing and appreciates your vast knowledge of the subject and regularly takes you along when he's shopping for a new budding champion. The villains own French or maybe German dogs (Rottweiler, Bouvier, that stuff - large, smelly, uncivilized dogs). The police inspector is a familiy man and shares his home with wife, kids and a Labrador bitch.
• Royalty. At some point or other, you spot Prince Harry who is attending the race incognito because he has one of his horses in the fifth race. But you recognize him becuase the two of you once spent a pleasent afternoon talking horses when the Queen had you over for high tea. You approach him, his body guards try to stop you but you are just too manly for them. Just as the situation treatens to become violent, Prince Harry recognizes you and invites you to his skybox for some cocktails. You then proceed to set him up with a very fine philly, who happens to be the niece of some important bigwig that you know because you once ran (and won) a race for him. You explain to the reader that although the Prince may find the niece attractive, you have some highly snooty reason to pass her on. Perhaps she is just too common.

I'll leave it at this, when the creative vein opens up again maybe I'll report back here or to the talk page for the unbook. Cheerio! -- di Mario 19:55, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm not going to include the drugs reference since I'm trying to keep it close to Francis, and betting rings were more his style. Rob had therefore been having his horses doped and was killed after the he mentioned his suspicions about them to the owner. ----~~

It's really hard to keep adding bits which enhance the story but are funny in their own right.