UnBooks:Church of St. Knock-Knock Agenda and Prayer Book

©A New Low for Punch Magazine, April 2, 2026

June 4th, Feast Day of St. Madam Foot

Opening: Rev. Honeybee A. Dear

Reading: Bartholomwho?, 3:10

Paul Afast One, 2:5

Simon Da Line, 8:2

Singing: Whosville Local Choir: Pultatio Pultatio

Hymn: O Knock, All Ye Faithful

Praying

Prayer

Lettuce pray,

Dear Lord, Knock knock!
Who's There?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ who?
Jesus Christ do you have nothing better to do with your Sunday?

Yea, those were the famous words uttered
By Samson Galaxy in audience with the Philistines,
As he anticipated the inevitability of his life's tumult.
To God we look
To God, of whom Orange we glad he didn't say
Banana.

Doctor who? Doctor Who.

Amen.

Hymn: O Knock, All Ye Faithful

O knock, all ye faithful, joyful and who?
O knock ye, o knock ye but Isabelle not better?
Knock, and ask "Who's there?"
Ask, "Cowsgo who?"

Chorus
No, Cows go Mooo!
No, Cows go Mooo!
No, Cows go Mooo,
But it Max no diff'rence.

God of God, Light of Light,
Lo, it abhors not the Knocking's whom?
Playing God, To ask, "Cowsgo who?"

Chorus