The doom of binary logic
Binary logic has been the centerpiece of human effort for centuries. Countless scientists have drooled like blithering idiots by this so-called achievement - and some of them have never even understood what binary logic is. Aristotle claimed to know what it is, and formulated his theory like this:
- "In each class of sentiment there is a central idea, one that merits closer scrutiny. What our minds cannot understand is the depth of thought needed to bust through the wall in our suppositions. Our native language does not seem to allow it, and what is left is often useless for us. We are not unlike toothless fruit bats in search of a more succulent fig in our constant effort of trying to unveil the ultimate logical non-sequitur. My friends (he was addressing a lynch mob), we are gathered here today to witness the cleanest and most sophisticated wisdom. The wisdom of the gods as they spoke it to me. Do not stone me to death, please."
Prefix[edit]
To narrate the exploits of ancient Greeks is often enough to satisfy the idle curiosity seeker, but we need to delve somewhat deeper into the realm of consciousness to really grasp the issue. Binary logic seems to be the bulwark against darkness - after all, Jesus himself was its most ferocious exponent. Five slices of white bread and two mackerels - that was all he needed to convince mankind of the futility of the search for anything furher down the line. His example was moving, but it did not move everyone. Thomas the Aqvavit - the one that lived after Jesus - went on to prove that the oriental idea of Yin and Yang is a far more viable version of thinking, if we want to get somewhere. He correctly thought that we need to think outside the box and stretch the paradigm of usefulness. Aqvavit's reasoning was based on what Marco Polo brought back from China, where Kublai Khan resided at the time (AD1214-AD1400) as a solitary hermit.
Marco Polo and Kublai Khan[edit]
- Marco Polo met Kublai Khan all by accident on his travels. Polo had left Venice for some unknown reason, later cooking up an unlikely story of trying to find the fabled Mongol kingdom in the east. We all know how those things go. On his way over the Nesbyterian mountain range, he spied light seeping through the cracks of a cave. He was visibly disturbed and went to explore, leaving some Kurds in possession of all his possessions.
- The sight in the cave was unexpected: an old man was sitting amid ashes, with a sack over his head, reciting poems of Kahlil Gibran to himself. This gave Marco Polo such a start that he forgot to introduce himself - but the other just smiled, jumped up and shouted: "I am Kublai Khan, the immortal hermit of these mountains!" Marco Polo sat down, offering the hermit a fag, lighting up himself. They soon became bosom friends, and it turned out Kublai Khan indeed was Marco Polo's long-lost brother. At least, this was what Marco Polo claimed when he returned to Venice after a reasonable interval of time.
The teachings of the hermit[edit]
- The following fragmentary text is a part of what Marco Polo brought back to Venice. In the light of it, we can only nod sagely at the subscription of tone it seems to annex from our semantics. No wonder Venice later became such a large city, with fireworks and all. The lost parts - the parchment was naturally half decayed when the archaeogeologists finally reached Sicily in the late 1980's - have been marked with a (...). The reader will be well-advised to read and re-read this part, since it will give him the key to the rest of this article.
- "Never be there such cacophony as there is in the mind of the man who seeks knowledge, where there is only void. Space is void, just like the insides of a goat are made of nerve tissue which (...) and it is fairly commendable. There never was a god, nor will there ever be, who hasn't looked upon mankind with a sad expression on his face, as if to say: 'Go, you behemothical seekers of asylum, and fill your baggies with nether (...) masterfully hidden.' So, this is supposed to be the crucial knot in the metaphor? Are you following me yet?"
- "Never will there be peace, either. We do not know how to grasp for truth if there are but two choices, neither nor nor neither will satisfy the need, but there will also have to be a third thing to select, the freedom of (...) in the case of what I just told you. Long gone are the days when (...) see me eye to eye, without killing me. It is as the lion said to the gazelle. He did not want her to look like he was going to eat her, because (...) matters not."
- "Never will there be a man brave enough to stick his head into the lion's den, a mountain lion is just as ferocious as an ordinary one. Do you now see where all this is leading? Sparta was not much of a challenge to the Romans, like Egypt was not much of a challenge to the pharaohs. If you take an advinseture and look upon it, mentally squinting, and reach for the truth you can extract, you will almost every time reach zero in half the time you (...) sending it back to whence it came."
- "Never will there be a lake so full of (...) as the lake right at the foot of this very mountain was this January! You should have seen them, large as life, just waiting to get caught! We threw nets into the water and the stupid creatures simply jumped into them, as if their life was depending on getting eaten. We then killed most of them and left some struggling for breath on the shore. We did not need all that (...)."
Subscription to the higher truth[edit]
What will be left if you write open all that has been done after the mysterious hermit spoke to Marco Polo? I take it for granted the student of logic is well aware of the teachings of Spinoza, Mackerel, Soshoomer, Gugliari, Melcior, Westinghouse, Nitzchevoo, Rubinstein, Georgiott, Limsbaubogher, Snodbylghieri, Rutschenmeister, Witrubenterger, Walsmouth, Kookle, Sumerus Pointus Maximus, Nuremberg, Latinostier, Yudasin, Kasparian, Toetterstroem, and Gagliari. If you have never heard of any of these, I take it you have been living in a barrel and really cannot be expected to follow. Go live by the Aristotelian logic, it suits you. We follow the advice of Dirty John Jones whom I just met at a street corner last Friday:
- "Sir - don't look behind you now, that's one of them. You know, them Martians. They have been watching me ever since I graduated from the Whisky University and started drinking for real. Look, I'm a show you something. See this? I got it back in Somme. 1916, yeah. Yeah, it was those kids. They fucking cannot let a man drink in peace. Once a couple of them got too noisy, started pushing. I glassed one of'em, still in the hospital. I'll be dead soon I know. Those fuckers will do me, I know that. Be a pal and get me a bottle of whisky. Any kind. Long as it has alcohol in it."||