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Worldwide Forecast at a Glance:
- Puerto Rico, Cuba, and Florida will be hit by 17 simultaneous hurricanes, all of them with stupid names, some of them running out of rain and instead using slightly damp tea bags to inflict property damage.
- Over to Africa, there'll be cool breeze to start a warm day tomorrow, with a slight chance of guerilla warfare in the afternoon.
- On any random coastline, expect it to be like Christmas, at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house from a hurricane.
- In Brazil, a warm push is expected to cause overshooting tops, causing Rio to experience widespread mammatus.
- In summary, cool showers, cold beer, and grilled bratwurst makes Jack a happy happy man.
Special Weather Report:
A pack of wild turkeys were spotted surfing tsunamis in the Indian Ocean.
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The last time this forecast was 100% correct, somebody really unimportant died.
