Template:UnNews Quick weather

Worldwide Forecast at a Glance: Starting in Europe where it should be dull and drizzly in the morning, a bit like waking up next to a lukewarm corpse. Expect full sun in the Sahara today, tomorrow, and the next day. On now to Canada and the north of the US, quite warm, about the temperature of a cow. In Nebraska, far from the moist tongue, suction vortices may disipate due to a choking downdraft. In summary, moderate acid rain only in the evenings. Special Weather Report: Yo mama is so fat, she caused the last ice age.

Global Warming Indicator

The number of accurate forecasts to date equals the number of homeruns Barry Bonds has without the aid of steroids.