Template:UnNews Quick weather

Worldwide Forecast at a Glance: Starting in Europe where it should be dull and drizzly in the morning, a bit like waking up next to a lukewarm corpse. In India, no sun for at least a month or two, followed by a month or two of blazing sun every day. On to Eurasia, there'll be some heavy thunder about as loud as a mountain goat fart. In Nebraska, far from the moist tongue, suction vortices may disipate due to a choking downdraft. In summary, it is expected to be a bad-hair day for Oscar Wilde. Special Weather Report: A pack of wild hurricanes were reported to be cited with public intoxication and slamming into continents without a license.

Global Warming Indicator

If you were to find the population of penguins and divide that by the ratio of butterflies to macacs, you would get a number no where near the accuracy of this forecast.