Talk:Henchmen

From Pee Review

So yeah, tell me what you think. I T-totally rewrote the entire thing. The only thing I saved was that quote at the top...I guess that means I didn't rewrite the WHOLE thing, just the near entirety of it. So, suggestions, vandalizations, and blankings are all welcome. --Anyone 18:09, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

I was going to edit it but then i realised how lazy i am. only mistake i noted was in the first para breaking you're nails should be your. you need a section in the job oppertunities bit for the 'henchmen with a name' like jaws odjob etc, how they're the ones with a good gimick, and tough. if you're lucky enough to have a name you will be the last henchman to die, but die you will then maybe, unless you switch alleigances at the last minute (like jaws) and then have a little section about doing that. also needs some links - jack mort | cunt | talk - 11:57, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

bored beats lazy, added a few links, cos without any links articles will get shouted at by admins - jack mort | cunt | talk - 12:41, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

It's good stuff. Nice concept and lots of witty asides. You seem to have taken the "think of everything you can, throw it at the wall and see what sticks" approach, which is something I do a lot myself. If I was you, what I would do now is go through and graft off the good stuff, keeping in the really good stuff. Look for places where a joke has been spun out one sentence too many, or a paragraph has been written on the hoof and left to settle.Try and keep it tight too - about five sections maximum. A really good image would cap it.

The key concept for me is bit where being a "henchman" meets with the reality of needing employment. Personally, I'd like to see a Henchman CV in there, and some comments on how the market for henchmen has shrunk since the end of the cold war - and that these days a lot of henchmen are outsourced from the middle east. The observational angle is also good - and I imagine that Oddjob from "Goldfinger" would make for some good angles. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 08:50, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

First off, thanks to the two of you for your valuable input; I know how little traffic PeeReview sees, and I honestly didn't expect any feedback when this got here. Thank you specifically Jack for the addition of links. As for Hardwick, I'm not sure if anything you just said was in the English language, but I'm going to take it to heart and use what I understood. Thanks. --Anyone 15:34, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Elderdrook sid mufflewhump, izgot narwhale plummet. Fignor, ay? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 18:25, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

This is a great article. Just fix up the spelling and it'll be perfect and eminently nomination-worthy - David Gerard 20:15, 2 November 2006 (UTC)