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Well, apologies to the original author, but it just wasn't funny. I'm sure the previous version (before my merciless deletion of it in it's entirety) exists somewhere, out there in the ether. If it's deemed necessary that it be retrieved, dusted off and perhaps tweaked instead of strangled to death with a short length of panty-hose, I won't shed a single tear. Still, I think it's a lot funnier now. :)