Roundabout camping

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Anyone seen the tent?
New couch

Roundabout camping was popularized by your parents and mine at the height of spring, predominantly as a distraction. We certainly wouldn't notice the stain on the couch then!

Tourist brochures tout roundabout camping as a tranquil "me" place to binocularise combusting herds of octanes, whilst your feet are lavished in photosynthesis and coke cans with the ring-pulls pulled off.


Roundabout prickles may be gloved, mittoned or marshmallowed

After parking the car in the woods nearby but within the range of nocturnal double-yellow lines unfortunately, campers mostly equip themselves with the contents of the glove compartment and gloves, one per prickle. The good may be buried here, so shovels and tombstones are oft transported. In many traditions, herbicide is sprayed around and around the circumference prior to entry of roundabout proper to ward off juggernauts and to mark one's territory like a dog who owns a tree or trees.

The majority of glove compartment stuff is employed to deactivate coke cans so that the ring-pulls fall off or to irradiate coke cans so they match your sweet, faded jeans- the ones with holes in the knees. Surplus, unlovable and grey glove compartment stuff is used to set-up base camp. Was the stain kind of yellowish- not so sure anymore. Crumbs or ring-pulls can be used to tattoo a pathway onto Mother Earth which will forever guide the traveler from base camp to the pissing tree and vice versa.


Removing a glove from one prickle only, the roundabout camper can prong sustenance and guide it towards exhaust pipes from passing traffic, but only if marshmallows were in your glove compartment in the first place. Complex aromas of exhaust and herbicide can be imparted into the mouth of the fluffy, self-proclaimed foodstuff. Chances are it'll be nattering on about this and that, oh its mouth will be open all right!

If only one of the knees of your sweet, faded jeans has a hole then whilst kneeling to exhaust-smoke your marshmallows, why not chemically digest the denim fibers in your other sweet, faded jeans knee with residual herbicide?

Rainbows (Real)[edit]

The good are buried in high densities on roundabouts- rainbows serve as a bridge from roundabout to the eternal flowery meadow of bliss (you passed it when parking your car) for the ghosts of the good and their tractor lawnmowers. Rainbows, the ghosts of the good and their goodly, ghostly tractor landmowers are predated upon by octanes- its carnage and well worth watching with a sooty mallow.


A double-sleeping bag has room for your friend

If you are camping with a friend then take two single sleeping bags each (four in total), un-zip the sleeping bags and then re-zip two of the singles together to make a double-sleeping bag each (two in total- one for you, one for your friend). The rainbow viewing experience from a double-sleeping bag is simply opulent and without question a little bit better than viewing rainbows from a single sleeping bag.

Fake Rainbows[edit]

Rainbows (real) are the real deal. Fake rainbows are created on roundabouts near the pissing tree when the good, the bad or the medium urinate marshmallow metabolite. Yellow lines frolicking in the woods near your car at night can also be confused with rainbows- these are also fake.