Role Playing Game Villain

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One would assume that Role Playing Game Villains emerged after Role Playing Games, and presumably before interesting Role Playing Games. This is a foolish and dangerous stance. These beings are in fact far older than even the universe itself; in fact due to an error in my grandmothers sponge cake recipe (Quantum entanglement, before you ask), they are older than anything that exists, including themselves.

These ancient and terrible powers are the most powerful creatures ever to exist or to have existed. It is a shame, therefore, that they can only affect one tiny part (and in truth it is usually a tiny part) of the world: the brains of GMs. This is why they always seem to be the same as the last guy.


There are many theories to explain the existence of such creatures.


This theory states that each villain represents a different part of the "Super Id", something Freud left out of his main works because he ran out of space. They are not in fact real entities but instead the delusions caused by excessive acne medication.

This was widely taken as truth until the original manuscript was found written on the back of a beer mat from the Blue Skunk night club for the Bent Gent. Also, the villains themselves filed a lawsuit.

Probably something quantum[edit]

This is the new most popular theory. Until we find the beer mat anyway. It states that the villains are made up of the thoughts and beliefs of the people who use them in their games and cause people to use them in their games by the aforementioned method.

Critics have pointed out that this means that they cannot have existed before the games they are used in, something that has caused the villains to file a lawsuit.


This theory states that as each villain is used, they become more and more cliché until they can never have any other form. At this point they shall manifest into the world and raze it in a whirlpool of hellfire.

The villains filed a lawsuit based on defamation of character.

Dead universe.[edit]

This final theory is, so far, the only one not being sued.

It states that the creatures where the ultimate evil, or Big Bads, in a now-dead universe that worked just like a role playing game. This explains nearly nothing but won't get you sued.

Genre slip[edit]

An important phenomenon about Role Playing Game villains is Genre slip, or the ability for certain Role Playing Game Villains to move to other Genres, most of the time cinema or TV.

Over-confident, over-dramatic, over-used and over-talkative have all made the leap.


Main article: Confidence

This type is hallmarked by its total and utter belief in all of its abilities and the weakness of everyone else. It also invariably has some gaping weakness, often stupidly obvious, that makes killing it easy.

Examples include; Fire giants in the north pole, Ice Giants in a Volcano, Robots with off-switches and villains with 'invincible' in their names.

It tends to sue far more than the others.


This type is just silly. Unlike all of the others, its exact form is determined by the people it is facing as it has to be at least three times (usually more like five) more powerful than them. It is also the only one that cannot logically be defeated (however sometimes, including the infamous OMG!!!!111!!!111One11!£!!111!!2 incident, dumb luck can be employed.)

Examples include: Turbo-Jesus, The Destroyanator and God.

It is currently suing to make luck illegal.


This villain has a flair for the dramatic. And the Titanic was a big ship. It often wears a silly outfit, speaks funny, has a mega-ultra-super (note exact combination) doomsday weapon, henchmen with themed names and outfits and a lair self destruct apparently linked to a heart monitor.

Examples include: The Fatman of the opera, The Gagster, well in fact any villain with the word The in their name really.


This one won't shut up. He will tell you everything you could ever want to know, everything you could ever not want to know and everything that you did not know you did not want to know but now you know and wish you didn't.

Examples include Mr. American Oil Industry Pushing Presidents Into Going To War Verses The Peachy Peace Teens.

The only lawsuit put forth by this one lasted 20 years, 19 of which was opening and closing arguments.


This type is where clichés come to die. They seem to have the ability to cause groans at will.

Examples include: Dracula, Drow, the Greek God of War and Mr. Wiggles.

Currently fighting several copyright cases.

Over-thought out[edit]

This type has plan, contingency plans, back up plans and back up contingency plans for every event. They often consist of over 80 times the amount of paper as the others. It is rare for them to plan for the events that really happen however.

Examples include: Mr. Mazer, The hidden creep and The American Supreame Court.



This type is the sort that can fly and as such just hangs overhead attacking. Quite dull and seldom used but never the less worth mentioning.

Currently launching an equal-opportunities lawsuit.


Has slaughtered the villagers, sacrificed the virgins, cleaned up and packed away before the characters even know he existed.