Rihanna's Forehead
“Your forehead's so big, it's got its own article on Uncyclopedia.”
Rihanna's Forehead is a titanic mythical deity that is said to live under the stairs and originated from some remote region in the West Indies. It's so big.
Dimensions[edit]
Rihanna's impossibly large forehead is bigger than a threehead, but distinctly smaller than a fivehead. It is so large that it has its own ecosystem and cloud system, complete with rainfall and temperature forecasts.
If you were to flatten it out, its surface area would cover an area of approximately three open umbrellas. It is now being rented out for advertisement, as it is cheaper than billboards or sides of buildings.
History[edit]
Rihanna's forehead has been used as a parking lot for Smart cars. The Apollo 11 astronauts only thought they planted a flag on the moon. In fact, it was Rihanna's forehead. The fact that the "wind" seemed to blow the flag, and earth in the background seemed so small by comparison, gave rise to ugly rumors that the moon-shot never really happened.
It is so big that IMDB edited the script of 300:
- Persian: "A big forehead of the Bajan empire descends upon you. Rihanna's forehead will block out the sun"
- Stelios: "Then we will fight in the shade."
Rihanna placed the forehead in the cement at Grauman's Chinese in Hollywood instead of her handprint.
What you can do[edit]
You can challenge Rihanna's Forehead to a horned-goat skull ramming contest or an ultimate ping-pong match.
However, there is one person who has overcome the Forehead's impenetrable defenses. R&B singer by the name of Christopher Brown weakened the forehead's chitinous outer shell with a quick, unexpected left hook for 4000 damage (3950 was absorbed by the shell). The immense shock left the forehead dazed and unable to defend itself. Chris Brown knows about the Shell's ridiculous health regeneration rate of 1,250 hit points per second. So without further delay, he immediately performs the Singer's Forbidden Technique: Chris bites the exposed Forehead for a critical hit of 26,000 damage, leaving the Forehead unconscious for minutes, long enough for Brown to run for his dear life. Chris Brown knows he will be chased to the end of the world by law enforcements for using such an atrocious technique (it was universally banned when drunken Britney Spears allegedly bit her poor Chihuahua for 9k damage, instantly killing it). Brown turned himself in the next day and the law stripped him of his career and all monies.
Appeasing the forehead[edit]
Rihanna's forehead is mostly a docile creature except at times of the day that end in "o'clock". Otherwise it's just a rampaging ravenous destructive force for which there is no equal and no master. It devours planets, galaxies, and varying realms of reality. Fortunately for us, and for all living matter for that matter, it is easily pleased.