Lynnyrd Skynnyrd Thompson

Lynn Thompson, also known as Lynn “Yrdskynyrd” Thompson, is an American entrepreneur and current president of Cold Steel Inc. An outed cutlery fetishist, Thompson has worked to expand the blade-smithing industry to ensure his products are available to like-minded clientele across the globe. He is a known advocate of using bear mace as a substitute for Worchester sauce and has led a series of campaigns calling for the return of the rumpus room to suburban American households.

Although not entirely human, Thompson has been identified as the world’s tallest wart. His hobbies include blindly thrusting rapiers at milk jugs and stuffing leather sleeves with raw meat. In 2008 he earned an Associate’s Degree in Spanish from DeVry University in an effort to understand the film “Pan’s Labyrinth.” Associated acts include Limp Bizkit and Papa Roach.