HowTo:Prepare Instant Jihad

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With this lovely dish, you can entertain your guests on a very short notice, the perfect solution for an average host/hostess.


  • 1 Pint (1 litre) "Islamist" rage
  • 1 Tsp. minced Osama
  • 3 Lq. Oz. (1 litre) freshly squeezed Zarqawis
  • 10 Infuriating infidels
  • 72 Virgins (shaken, not raped)
  • 2 Gallons (7 kilometres) of gasoline
  • 1/3 Cup (1 litre) olive oil
  • 2 Cloves of garlic
  • 2 mini croissants
  • 1 Large onion (3 metric onions)

(Very Important!) Check with the Imam to ensure that all the ingredients are Halal.

Instant Jihad, your guests will be thrilled!


  1. Preheat oven to 150 °C
  2. Chop up infidels with onions. If needed, use a knife.
  3. Heat olive oil.
  4. Fry infidels with onion till onion turns golden and infidels stop moving (if needed, you may bash the infidels with the Zarqawis to make sure they stop moving).
  5. Add garlic, Zarqawis, virgins. Stir fry for two to three minutes. Remove and place in oven.
  6. Bake for 30-40 minutes.
  7. Remove from oven and spray Osama over dish.
  8. Add Gasoline and "Islamist" rage.
  9. Light 'em up!
  10. Declare a holy Jihad.
  11. Serve extremely hot.

Note: For decorative purposes, feel free to add some Ahmadinejad Cream.


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