HowTo:Help the Green Party
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It is an honour to write to you as newly elected Giant Redwoods -- voted for by you, the supporting flora and fauna, without whom we would never have reached our current size or cultivated our numerous inner rings. We thank you for your support, nourishment and the mutually beneficial photosynthetic activities you have undertaken over the past few years. We are proud to be sharing in the same carbon-dioxide, and breathing out the same oxygen, and it is your foliage that makes our achievements possible.
But we cannot stop growing now.
The Green Party are a small political party and get most of our greenery from you, the vegetables and slowly rotting compost, absorption of which is key to the party's nourishment. For all our achievements, from allotment rights activism, to our planting of at least 11 trees on Greenham Common last Wednesday, we have everyone to thank.
But looking after trees takes time and it takes money, and this is why we are reaching out to the fruits of this fair forest soil with a story and, nearby, a picture of a tree:
The tree's name is Mabel.
Mabel was made an only-tree after her mother and father trees were cut down in a forest fire that gave them tree-rot. For only £10 per month (low waged, £5 unemployed) you can make sure little Mabel and other trees like her get the start in life they always wanted.
Yes, for only £10 per month (low waged) you too can be part of our radical new vision for trees and tree related wood-products everywhere, just by giving us £10 a month (low waged). For Mabel.
- Yours Seedcerely,
- The Genetically Modified Lucas-Bartley Cross-pollinating, Self-watering, Rubber-hose and Lighter than Air Discovery Vehicle
p.s. I think we still believe in democracy, don't we? You might want to vote for us too, but mostly, please give money because we are a small political party and because trees. Also money is made of paper, and so are trees. Think about it.