> use public transport
Luckily for you, The Great Underground Empire now offers a free shuttle-bus service for adventurers going from the White House to the Mountain.
There is a shuttle waiting by the pick-up point.
> board shuttle
You board the shuttle-bus. As it drives away, you notice something odd about the driver. He's hairy and box-shaped. Oh no! He's a grue who has eaten the driver. This bus is full of n00bs! They have not yet mastered extreme sarcasm.
> use extreme sarcasm
You use extreme sarcasm, killing every living thing in a ten-metre radius. The grue understandably dies. So do the noobs. The thing is though... who's driving the bus?
> drive bus
You take the controls of the bus, and drive it to the mountain. You crash it into a ditch. Its fuel tanks explode. Maybe you should take some driving lessons.