> Take kippers
Yeah, right, like you actually knew what kippers are? Aunt Helga is looking at you, waiting for you to eat the the kippers.
> Eat kippers
As you hungrily devour (All you've eaten was a bottle of water, which isn't really eating) the kippers, you notice that the nephew is dead. You wonder how as you eat the last kipper. Then you notice that Aunt Helga is laughing. As it turns out, Aunt Helga is really a homocidal maniac, driven to the brink by Hagar's abusive ways, and the kippers were poisoned with catnip. At least your last moments will be spent in blissful ignorance.
> I'm not a cat. And how do you poison something with catnip?
You're dying, you don't have time for trivial things like that!
> No. Really. How?
Why aren't you dead yet? Die already!
It appears that the last blow was too much for you. I'm afraid that you are dead.
As you take your last breath, you feel relieved of your burdens. The feeling passes as you find yourself before the gates of Hell, where the spirits jeer at you and deny you entry. Your senses are disturbed. The objects in the dungeon appear indistinct, bleached of color, even unreal.
> examine me
You appear to be made of a translucent floating white substance. There seems to be a golden halo hovering above your head.
Ah, there we go. Just so you know, kippers are fish.