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 Sharon Score: 777 Moves: 777

> Play in dirt

That's a stupid idea. However, it is safer that most of the things you've done so far. It's just too bad that the "dirt" in question happens to be quicksand.

> What?! call my lawyer, man. I'm suing for every....last...glub glub glub

I suppose it's too late to mention that shouting at the narrator means you sink fourteen times as fast. Look it up, fucktard.

*** Your life functions have ceased to serve you ***

Would you request that your game be reset so that you can choose a different path, backtrack until you can remember exactly where you went wrong and hope to correct your erroneous mistake with minimized effort, or cease the playing of Zork for a varying period of time determined by your decision? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):