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 Sharon Score: 777 Moves: 777

> Play in dirt

That's a stupid idea. However, it is safer that most of the things you've done so far. It's just too bad that the "dirt" in question happens to be quicksand.

> What?! call my lawyer, man. I'm suing for every....last...glub glub glub

I suppose it's too late to mention that shouting at the narrator means you sink fourteen times as fast. Look it up, fucktard.

*** You suck ***

Would you like to not suck, cheat by loading someone else's save, or give up out of frustration? (type NOT SUCK, CHEAT, or GIVE UP):